Life is moving faster than I can document. My time to sit and write gets less as less as the weeks go on. This week however, my emotions are so stirred that I felt like it was time to just simply sit and write.
I love these kids.
I obviously have always loved my children, but as time goes on, the deeper the love grows, as if our lives become further and further entwined – a bond only a parent and child can possible reach.
It’s so hard to love at times.
Let me explain.
With love come such a huge risk of pain. The greater we love the greater the risk. At times, even as a mother, I would love a second to simply blink -- to close my eyes to the bright light that draws me to my children.
You see, when I look at my children I see a little more than most parents. I see loss but also so much hope, I see pain but also see healing. For some of my kids I see children with no voice longing for someone to give them sound in a very noisy world. I see children who live trapped inside broken bodies, who are crying out for someone to see a spark inside their broken shells and pull them out.
Dang, it’s so heavy.
This week my heart has been so broken as I fight for my children and their needs. The pain goes beyond just the struggle, the fight -- but I mourn the very reason I’m fighting -- the loss, the pain, having no voice -- witnessing a beautiful spirit trapped within a broken body.
Today I’m trying to rest in this truth…
I can close my eyes for a bit and rest, because although it feels like my love for these beautiful children could not possibly be stronger, I’m taken back as I’m reminded that God’s love for my children runs much deeper, so deep that human minds could never comprehend the passion He holds. And as I rest, my soul can find peace as He takes over – His strength is made so beautiful in my weakness.
So very beautiful.