Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Wednesday Morning...

I really wish I could just blink and this all could just go away. I never realized how difficult this would be. I'm not sure how I just "forgot" to think of the aftermath and all the suffering. I know we as a team made the right choice but I'm having a hard time sitting with that this morning. Then again I got zero seconds of sleep last night -- not much help for my already frazzled state.

Gavin is stable but understandably struggling. He kept a high temp all evening into this morning. He is in an indescribable amount of pain that we still do not have a handle on. The spinal block that that gave him in the OR did not take and he seems to be chewing through the morphine. We have also tired a few other things but none that has given him any relief. He has been dosing in and out but he wakes to a panic of pain and shaking.


Respiory wise he is doing great he was able to be extubated last night and is not requiring any O2. Fluid wise he is not doing so good. His labs are a mess this morning and he is very dry in his vessels yet leaking most of his fluid in his tissue and now the huge empty space in his belly. So this plan today is to give him more albumin and lot of fluid.


I hate the ostomy. I hate the new gtube. Just want to put that out there.


Adam went back to RM house late last night to get some sleep to that he can relieve me this morning for a few hours so I can shower.


This just really sucks.


Really, really sucks.


I'm ok, just need to get some sleep.

44 comments:

Nicole, Drew, Jack, Megan, Sophie, and Lucy too said...

We will continue to pray for a smooth recovery for Gavin and sleep for his very tired parents! Hang in there, know that we are praying and many others are too!

All the Marletts

Anonymous said...

Hearing your heart and praying for ALL that you and Gavin need. Debbie

Heather Nicole said...

Karen, this must be so hard for you right now but try and hang in there and do the best you can. You have come this far already!

We are so happy to hear that Gavin made it through surgery. And we are praying so hard right now that God provides comfort to Gavin, strength for you and Adam and guidance to the doctors and nurses. We love you all so much!

Cindy said...

As a mother I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through right now...I will continue to Pray for your family and the doctors.

Anonymous said...

praying for you to be able to get some rest and for Gavin to get some relief. -Jen

Anonymous said...

Much love to you from all of us. I can't imagine what you're going through. Don't doubt yourself...or let anyone make you feel doubtful. You're Gavin's Mommy and you ALWAYS have his best interests at heart. You're trying to give him a great life...an "Owens" life...and you're doing a great job. The pain will end. The pain WILL end...for both of you.
kate, ed, gavin #2 and brian

Holly said...

Still praying for your family. I'm glad the surgery is behind you and I hope recovery gets smoother and faster.

I ask you this...if Gavin's abdomen gets swollen, hard and he is generally huge from retaining fluid please ask about compartment syndrome. It can be very dangerous. This is what Caleigh had after her last surgery.

I'll keep checking in....
[hugs]

Anonymous said...

We will continue to pray for Gavin as his body adjusts to this major change. Praying for the pain to be decreased and Praying for rest for you as well. Hang in there. We're all out here holding you up!
~Randy & marilyn

anna said...

i'm praying for you and little gavin right now, and will continue throughout the day. God please be with this family right now, let them feel you physically. please protect gavin, be with his medical team. give them wisdom during this time. please Father, rain down your peace and comfort on gavin's family. in Jesus' name, amen.

Ashley said...

I'm truly sorry for his pain and for yours. I know how difficult it is to watch your child go through such an enormous trauma to their body. The ostomy is really scary in the beginning and I too hate our g-tube, but they soon will just become a part of Gavin. The surgery is behind him and now the recovery is at hand, but then comes living. Look to that. His new life free from constant fevers, IV meds, infections, the ins and outs of the hospital. It is my hope for your family that this was the answer needed to provide you all with more time to make amazing memories. Hang on, he's going to get there. To the living part. I check on him daily and am so thankful you allow us "inside" of your lives enough to love on your baby. Try and get some rest. Sincerely, Trish Adams(mom to Ashley Kate small bowel transplant survivor)

Longmeadow Mama said...

Karen,
Ever since I found this blog a week ago I have not been able to get your family off my mind. I will continue to pray for Gavin but today feel led to focus my prayers on mommy. As a mom, I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I'm wearing my rings on opposite hands today so the funny feeling will remind me to pray throughout the day for you specifically.
God bless you and your precious family,
Kelli

Jake said...

Don't lose faith.
Don't lose faith.
Don't lose faith.
Don't lose faith.

Draw on the peace of God. Love you and are praying for you.

Anonymous said...

I can't even imagine what this is doing to you..I am praying and praying and praying that Gavin will feel some relief. Your being unbelievably strong..you always have been..I guess there is nothing I could say that hasn't already been said. As your sister, this is horribly difficult to see you go through..I love you, and I can take some time off of work to come down and help with Madi, just say the word..I can have it arranged..

Leah said...

PRAYING for you. Praying FOR you. Praying for YOU!!

My heart aches for all of you.

Leah

Cathy Davis said...

God love you. I wish I could just give you a big hug and let you just vent away.

I pray for you and your hubby to have peace which transcends all understanding and rest, even if it's short, that will make you feel rejuvenated.

Tiffani said...

Just want to let you know that I am praying for that sweet baby boy and for the rest of your family!

I came over from Travis' blog before and I am permament prayer partner now with you guys! My heart is just so heavy for you guys...

I pray that today will you rest in the peace that passes all understanding and that you'll find comfort in small things until those major victories come!

Lots of love to guys!

Tiffani in Georgia

Anonymous said...

Always Praying for you all !!!!
Love Jim,Jena,Mason & Ty Kennedy

grey like snuffie said...

I hear you, praying

Rebecca said...

Praying with all my heart for you and Gavin and your family.

Rebecca

blairspage said...

I'm continuing to pray for him and the pain. I can only imagine what you are going through with all of the decisions.

Big Hugs go out to you and your family!

Tiffany

Michelle said...

I am praying as always.

Karen said...

Continuing to think of you all each and every day. Thank you for the updates.

I'm mentally sending Gavin a lullaby to help with the pain.

Pauliwog said...

Praying for you! I cannot even imagine all that you are going through or the roller coaster of emotions you are riding right now! My prayer for you is God's loving arms wrapped tightly around you to comfort and protect you through these days...and to give you peace and hope! And for a quick recovery for little Gavin!!

Kelly S. said...

sweet Karen I hear you and I am praying

dayna said...

I am so sorry.. we will continue to pray for Gavins recovery and for some peace and rest for you..
Know you are all in our prayers.

Kris said...

I read about your story from another blog and have been praying ever since. Your post this morning breaks my heart - I am petitioning God on your behalf. I know many others are as well. Praying you find rest in the midst of this - and complete healing for Gavin.

Melli said...

Sending prayers for Gavin certainly -- also for you and hubby. This is a tough time for everyone, But the Lord has Gavin's back -- and he's sO little he won't remember any of this down the road. Stay strong. I hope you are able to sleep.

brandiandboys said...

continuing to pray for you all!!!!!!

Angela said...

Oh to see your child in pain has got to be the absolute worst. As a parent you just want to take it all away and make it better. You guys are strong and your faith immense! We strongly pray for Gavin's pain to subside and for his body to heal. We are thinking about your family and will not stop praying.
The Favas

~ Lisa @ AbidingThere~ said...

I hope you are suggled up on God's lap right now sleeping. I'm so sorry to hear that he's so miserable - our prayers for him and all of you continue.

Brad Ruggles said...

Can't even imagine...poor little guy. We have been praying and will continue to pray for Gavin. You are all in our thoughts and prayers.

Renee Little said...

Sweet Gavin,

Our family is praying for you today. We are praying for healing and comfort. We are praying for angels to surround you, your family and your medical team. We are praying for strength to endure this process. We cannot wait to see a picture of your precious smile again soon. Stay strong.

The Little Family
Tracy, Ca

Anonymous said...

Karen~ I have been a fan of your family for some time and I feel the need to write and tell you that we are praying for your sweet boy. I can not imagine how hard this must be for you. I so wish there was something more that I could do for Gavin and your family, but my prayers will have to suffice.

Sending love,
Jodi and family

Mrs. Hefelfinger said...

Praying for you and your darling son.

Mrs. Hefelfinger said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heather said...

The last thing I did as I fell asleep last night was to pray for Gavin and the rest of you.The first thing I did this morning was to do the same.Let us continue to do that for you.You are physically and emotionally spent.Understandable.Today we ask God to ease this sweet little guys pain.Today we ask God to give you the strength to put one foot in front of the other and for today ... that is enough.I wish I had the strength to lift you up and restore your faith but I know you,that will come.Sleep and a new day will be at hand and you will do as you always do and that is,move forward with plan and action and most of all ... hope.Peace to your weary heart my friend.

Misty said...

i will pray that the coming hours help bring some relief. hang in there karen!!

misty

Jason OConnor said...

Karen & Adam:

We are keeping both of you and Gavin in our thoughts today and hoping that things start to smooth out for Gavin as the day goes on.

The O'Connor Family
www.samoconnor.com

Anonymous said...

Hang in there guys. Keep in mind that God is in control. I am praying that He will send supernatural peace and comfort to little Gavin and your whole family.
With love -

Erin said...

Holding you all close this morning. Thank you for the continued updates.

Katy said...

Continued prayers for each and every one of you.

May God meet all the needs that are present and even those not yet seen.

Holding you close in prayer!
~Kate

Jennifer said...

Still praying, for peace, for healing, for comfort...

Just Another Ordinary Miracle said...

Karen,
Please try to rest. The dayafter is always a mess. Gavin is a fighter. We were so blessed to have these little fireballs as our children. You hate the gtube now I know. When I first got hers I cried and cried. I chose to put this hole that would become a scar in her tiny little body. Today, I can't imagine how hard our life could be without it. It has made things so much easier. I know, you can't imagine it, but it will make meds, feedings, etc so much easier -on everyone. Ivey has a gtube and running through that a jtube, because she can not tolerate more than 30cc in her tummy. You'll get through this and come out on the other side in a different, but hopefully better place. Parents have to make such big decisions sometimes, and we do it because we love our little miracles. The guilt of our decisions sometimes is suffocating, Gavin needed this and you know you made the right choices. Get some sleep!!
Love,
Gwen

Kandi said...

Continued prayers. Surgery is so hard on a body. He WILL get through this, he is one tough dude.

Hugs.