Thursday, March 19, 2009

Home...

Gavin and I finally made it home late last night after a long day of tying up loose ends.  This morning I am feeling a level of exhaustion and stress like I've never felt before.  So many nice people post on this blog and leave me comments saying just how "strong" I am and how I handle this "so well," -- well let me tell you -- I'm completely overwhelmed, stressed out and tired beyond belief.

I keep waiting for Gavin to turn to corner and show me that the "old Gavi" is still in there -- I'm loosing my patience.  He is making progress but I'm just so used to his bounce back in three day approach!  His peeing issue is down right frustrating.  I have fears that his bladder will never return, which just makes me sick to my stomach.  Then there's the medical supplies -- they are pouring out of every square inch of our living space.  The neat/organization freak in me is crying out for mercy!

To end on a good note -- I'm getting ready to cook my wonderful husband and little girl a nice meal. 

So normal -- and it feels so good.  

33 comments:

grey like snuffie said...

WOO HOO, happy dance! Celebrating the good news, praying for the ongoing struggles.

Junior said...

So happy to hear that you are home. Gavin continues to be in our prayers

Kaitlyn said...

Welcome home and best of luck!

Mary Kay Heimbach said...

Glad to hear the good news of being home. Always in our thoughts and prayers.
Mary Kay and Donnie Heimbach

3saints said...

Oh you sweet girl, people have called me strong before and on the inside I'm crying and freaking and exhausted...
Your strong to us...your an amazing Momma who takes incredible care of her little peanut...but your also human and we all know that to...
Warmly
Kate

Tiffani said...

girl, there's just as much strength in knowing when to fall apart and allowing yourself to fall apart moreso than not feeling the "negative" things too...it only comes with the territory. This crazy vast territory that you're dealing with...I know it must feel great to at least be in YOUR house with YOUR things (organized or not) and to cook your family a meal...

"For in these things rejoice!"

Tiffani

kyna said...

Hoooray for Home!! I am glad you are there and I will continue to pray for your sweet family. Be sure to take some time to "curl up in His lap" and get some God lovin'. May the Holy Spirit recharge you. xoxo - the leyvas

Linlee said...

I'm so happy for you guys! Home always feels so good. Hopefully just being home will help Gavin feel better too!

Anonymous said...

We speak healing and life to Gavin's bladder in Jesus MIGHTY Name. COMPLETE RESTORATION!!! Praise the Lord.
We are continuing to pray for your family.
Alma, AR

~ Lisa @ AbidingThere~ said...

So glad you are home and sleeping in your own bed. Will continue to pray for Gavin.

Holly said...

I'm so glad your home! We've been thinking about you.

Get some rest when you can and don't sweat the small stuff. Your family is together under one roof!

Yippy!

Chelle Cates said...

YIPPEEEE!!! Home... so glad you are home. Great news!

Shari said...

I am so glad you are home! Yay! I can only imagine your frustration with everything you have to do and all the supplies, etc. I know from dealing with a different kind of special needs kid that frustration, exhuastion, and tiredness are very real. Hang in there and I continue to pray.

Reagan Leigh said...

I know what you mean about people telling you how strong you are. You're strong because you have no other choice! If you did, you certainly would not have chosen this life for yourself or your little boy. You do what you have to do...day in and day out...and it's what you do that makes you the strong, amazing person you are! We will continue to send prayers for the old gavi to return soon...and many more home cooked meals in your future!!

Cammie Heflin said...

So glad you are home!!!

Anonymous said...

I am happy you are home but sorry for all the stress that comes along with that. I am only 15 minutes away if you need help with the cathing/ostomybagchanges/IVs/organizing/cooking/vacuuming/just rocking
sweet little boy. Seriously, call me. If you don't have my cell, call the agency. Eileen

twinkle said...

Ooohh! I've been hoping and praying that you all were HOME! Scary to be on your own but good to take a long bath, curl up somewhere familiar and BAWL like a baby!
You let it all out. Spill it. God can take all of it.
Meanwhile, I'm going to shout to the Lord for what He has done.
And is doing. Hope you sleep well tonight and Gavin's bladder works it's business. Please, God. Work this out and thank You. You are our only Hope. Blessed be the Name of the Lord. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Cindy said...

Welcome Home! We will continue to pray for Gavin and your family. God Bless each of you. I hope you will still give us updates as you can on how you all are doing.

Anonymous said...

Great to hear that you're home! You'll get everything organized, give yourself some time, and Gavin too, to come back, he's been through so much, he'll be the old Gavi soon. We continue to pray for you all.
Deb S. CT

Tiffani said...

One more thing...if I may ;)

I was thinking about how much you've been through and really, it would only be natural to feel the way you do even though you're home and probably moreso b/c you are in a safe place to feel those things.

Be patient and gracious to yourself.

Jennifer said...

So glad you are home! I have been thinking of you a lot, as our son just got diagnosed with diabetes and I have so much STUFF now. When I'm feeling overwhelmed I think of you and it inspires me to do better! Hope things continue to progress! You are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there!

Becca said...

Glad you're home! I will be praying for you :-)

Jennifer said...

So thankful for prayers answered & that you're all home under one roof again! Hoping that a good night's sleep in your own bed has worked wonders & everything looks less overwhelming this morning!

Angela said...

HOORAY for home!! Karen, I can't imagine how overwhelmed you must be feeling having to play the role of Mommy, nurse and doctor at times. Hang in there - you can do this. I will pray for calmness and peace of mind for you, and of course I will continue to pray for Gavin and your family. Blessings!

Anonymous said...

Here's to more home cooked meals!!! You all deserve it! Hooray!
Katrina

Cindy Heintz said...

So glad you were able to go home.
Keeping you All in my heart, thoughts and daily Prayers.....ALWAYS :)
Love to All

Anonymous said...

YEAH!!!!Welcome home everyone! We still praying for healing for Gavin, and for all of you! We love you!

Reesha said...

It is totally ok and reasonable for you to become overwhelmed, but do not lose site of the fact that you ARE strong, despite feeling defeated!

You continue to forge ahead despite every hurtle that you encounter. Keep on pulling yourselves over that speed bump and eventually you will reach the plateau.

Yeah for being home! Can I have a PB&J now?

Jackson's Blog said...

Praying daily for Gavin's complete healing! Glad you are home!

Heather said...

My friend,eyes forward and on most days,upward, for that strength.Slow and steady,tomorrow comes.Love and prayers as always.

brandiandboys said...

yay!!!!! so happy to hear you're home!!! still praying for gavin!

~ Lisa @ AbidingThere~ said...

Still praying for Gavin. Hoping you are all doing well and enjoying home. Looking forward to an update when you are up to it. :)