Monday, March 23, 2009

Loss For Words...

Tonight Gavin was admitted to duPont with fever. He is really out of it and not really responding to much -- just is so sad to watch. I really can't believe this. I feel like I am living a nightmare -- we are really back here. I'm trying to watch what I type as my emotions are all over the place right now. I'm very angry, not sure who at but I'm trying to hold back my screams.

In all honesty I have to ask what the heck God is thinking. Come on. Really? This sucks.

Just don't have much else to say.

36 comments:

Victoria Strong said...

This IS a nightmare. Thinking of you and sweet Gavin. Hoping for you all.

zsirrom said...

I gotta come out of lurking for this. I'm not going to try and pretty things up and make it seem like things are all good and dandy, they aren't. You and your family got dealt a bad hand and it sucks. I have no idea what you're going through or how you feel, but if there is one thing that I know its that no matter what the enemy brings against you GOD is bigger. No matter how bad things seem to be, God its still good, He still loves you and your family dearly and sent his one and only son to die for you.

Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

I'll be praying for you, though I may not understand why you and your family are going through what you're going through.

grey like snuffie said...

It does suck...so hard to grasp...still praying

Wendy said...

Karen, I'm so sorry you are back at Dupont with Gavi. Your family has been through so much. Keeping you all in our prayers.

~ Lisa @ AbidingThere~ said...

I'm so sorry to hear Gavin is having a rough time.

You are not forgotten. God hears you, and he loves you and Gavin as precious treasures. I totally understand your questioning and frustration. We will pray in confidence, thanking God for Gavin's complete healing. I hope you are able to rest. xo

Anonymous said...

I'm praying right now.
Sofia

Me and My Boys said...

I'm so sorry. Now I know why I couldn't stop thinking and praying for you guys yesterday. Jessica

3saints said...

Oh that breaks my heart, please let us know how you all are when you can..
And of course your mad, you have every right to be...

Warmly
Kate

Kirsten Yarnall said...

Karen and Adam,
Loss for words says it all. It IS beyond any of our understanding why God would allow this for Gavin as well as for you. What is the point exactly? I wish I had profound Godly wisdom to give you at this time but I am at as much of a loss as you are. I am praying for God to shed some light on all of this for you and to speak to the hearts and minds of the Drs. to find that "thing" that Gavin needs to feel better. We continue to pray for peace and healing trusting that God will deliver on those prayer requests. We have to trust God. He is all we have to lean on in such times. We love you and will be praying.

Tiffani said...

Indeed it does suck. Scream if you need to, cuss, cry, shout...

Always, always, praying for you and your family!

Tiffani

Junior said...

So sorry to hear you are back at the hospital. Keeping you and Gavin in our prayers.

Laura said...

I'm so sorry Gavin is back at the hospital and not doing well right now. I've been praying for you this morning, and for Gavin too.

Sitesx6 said...

Oh my...I'm at a loss for words myself...I just feel horrible for all of you, of course,mostly Gavin.

That sweet precious boy has been through so much. And I know you are at your deepest depth here. I'm praying for you all....I just don't know what else to say.

LORD Jesus, please renew their strength, please give them peace and hope. Comfort them all and show yourself faithful to them.

Kelly in Michigan

ginger said...

I wish I had something profound to say. Know that someone in FL is aching for you & your sweet Gavin, as well as the rest of your family. And I am praying. Really.

TammieFay said...

Precious Karen and Adam...
Let me come out of lurking also to hopefully encourage you to know that I have been praying for Gavin and your sweet family for weeks (found you through Travis C's blog). I check Gavin's blog daily and got physically sick as I read the news this morning....I hate it...I'm mad too...this is NOT how it's supposed to be. My mind immediately went to a passage in the book of Lamentations. If anyone has a reason to lament, it is you....
"Arise, cry aloud in the night, at the beginning of the the night watches. Pour out you heart like water before the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to Him for the life of your little ones who are faint..." (2:19)
God has purpose in this season you find yourself in. Lamenting is good, it is healthy and when done before our loving Father, will bring healing. Don't let the enemy tell you otherwise...he IS the father of lies. My hands will be going up in prayer today for Gavin and your family.

Anonymous said...

I am praying for Gavin and your family, and am truly sorry.
Jennifer in AL

Anonymous said...

Please don't lose your faith. It's the evidence of things unseen, things hoped for. As long as you keep your eyes on the end, then end where Gavin is back to his sweet, happy old self that seems like a distant memory, the Lord will bring him back there. Hate what is evil, but don't lose your faith.
-Lauren in TX

Anonymous said...

Karen,
I'm sorry. I understand how tired, frustrated, angry, sad, and ticked off you are. I am too. I really and truly am. There are points along our journey that I just want to behave like a toddler and kick and scream and throw the biggest fit ever thrown. I know that like me you just want to raise you kid outside the walls of a stinkin hospital. I'll never get it. I just won't. My faith is strong and yes, I know these things are serving some purpose or the Father wouldn't be allowing them to happen to our children, but I don't pretend to like it. I wish I could, but I don't.

Just wanted you to know there is another mommy sitting across the country in a hospital room watching her baby and thinking of yours. Again, I'm so sorry.

Thanks for your message. You guys are loved by strangers in Texas. Sincerly, Trish

Jodi R said...

Karen and Adam, there is not much to say right now, You are always in our thoughts and prayers! Our hearts are aching for all of you. Feel better Gavin, you sweet thing.

Misty said...

karen, my heart is breaking for you and gavin right now. i am praying for you both!

Heather Nicole said...

I'm so sorry Karen *big hugs*
Love, Heather

Cammie Heflin said...

I'm so sorry, praying for you.

Mo said...

I'm so sorry this happened. Praying that your sweet boy makes a quick turnaround and that your family can be at home again very soon.

all4boys said...

I too wish I had some great thought as to why you were going through what you are. I just got done reading in Joshua, how the Lord made time stand still for one day. And in 2 Kings 20, how the Lord proved his point to Hezekiah by making the sun go backwards. I know this same God can heal you baby. I know He can. His will in this? Maybe it's to reach the hundreds of lost people who might read this blog. Is it right? If it is for HIS glory, then I would say yes. But for your baby? My heart breaks for you. Someone in Memphis loves you in JESUS NAME and is praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Dear Karen and Adam,
I have never posted before but I too am coming out of hiding. I was directed to this blog through Travis' C blog and have been praying for your family for weeks. God has raised up people all over and has prompted them to stand in the gap for you and your precious family. I am so sorry for the most recent discouraging developments. I don't pretend to understand all the heartache that you are experiencing but I do know that pain is pain -- and it is deep. God has been diligently trying to teach me to trust His character when I don't understand His hand (what He is doing and allowing). It is not an easily learned lesson and I know that this side of eternity I may never know the answer to the "WHY?" When faced with one mighty wave after another it can feel overwhelming and like you are drowning -- but I pray that God will remind you who He is and that His love, power and goodness has not changed. May you find peace and rest in Him today.

I call this verse "The Trust of the Unexplained."

"Let him who walks in darkness and has no light, trust in the name of the LORD, and rely on His God." (Isaiah 50:10)

Praying for your sweet family this day and asking God to comfort all of you and give you His peace.

Praying in Canada for you....
Heather

Jennifer said...

Oh Karen! I wish I could say something that would help...just know that you are always in our prayers. Jen Lamkin

heather spratt said...

It's OK to scream! It's healthy. It's OK to be angry! It's a maddening situation!! It isn't fair!! Don't worry, God is a BIG God and He can take all of your frustrations and anger! Bring it to Him! And if you can't right now, if your well is empty and you don't feel you have anything to draw from, it's OK, you have an army of prayer warriors lifting your family up. I am praying.

Rachael said...

I don't know you, and I've only been following your blog for a few weeks, but you feel like family to me now. I too had several 'flashes' over the weekend- out of the blue and for no reason Gavin's face popped up in my head, leaving me wondering why, and thinking about how Gavin was doing. And you.

I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense. Words are failing me, but the feeling is real.

JayCee said...

Going on my knees for you right now.

Melody said...

I found your blog through Travis C's a few weeks ago. I check back regularly and my heart aches for you. I just wanted you to know I am sorry and I am praying for you and your family!

Sarah Endy said...

Karen, I can't imagine. We're praying for Gavin, and all of you. Lean on Him.

Anonymous said...

another person coming out of the lurker zone to say my heart is aching for Gavin and your whole family. Found you via Travis C's blog weeks ago. Wish I could really scream with you or just sit and cry with you but for now I will join everyone else and just wrap you all in prayers.

Landis family said...

We are praying for Gavin and for you. Our hearts break for all that you've been going through. Just know that you are not forgotten and we are continuing to lift you up before the throne of grace. God knows your pain and He understands your anger. Lay it down at his feet - he will carry you through. Love you guys! Rob, Stephanie, Taylor, and Cassidy Landis

Kaitlyn said...

I cannot comprehend, but my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kelly said...

Praying for Gavin...and for his family

ISO (In search of) said...

I had wondered how things were going. I'm so sorry you are back there. Praying for God to give you peacefulness a mind that is still and a heart that rests in knowing He is still there. I never understand harm coming to precious innocent babies but I still believe He does not delight in it. Praying that Gavin turns for the better very very soon.