Today has been such a crazy day. My emotions have been all over the place, which leaves me at five o'clock ready to go to sleep. This morning I faced the sudden reality that Gavin would be going to surgery for the last time. Lots of tears followed, even down in the cafe while I was just trying to put the darn creamer in my coffee.
I get back upstairs and find that Gavin has a fever and the line cannot be put in due to the infection risk. All the sudden my tears are gone and I, for the first time in our long three year journey with Gavin, was so glad to be spending the weekend here at the hospital.
A few hours later I got the chance to speak with an art therapist who will be helping out our family. Madison and Gavin will be able to have sessions together and make some much needed memories while being in each other's presence without Adam or I. The Therapist even mentioned being able to video tape some of the session that we could have to keep as memories -- that just about melted my heart and the tears started flowing again.
In the next couple of seconds a "code blue" was called on our unit and my heart went into I panic and a ran down to hall to find Gavin still sleeping.
My pounding heart was so relieved.
Madison and Adam came by to visit and our time together was too short. It could have been longer but Gavin's pain is getting away from us again, which means that any noise stirs him up. I could tell Madi was having a difficult time -- I hate to see that sad confused look in her eyes.
It's going to be a long weekend.