Monday, November 23, 2009

Going Back...

Photo Credit: Ryan EstesPhoto Credit: Ryan Estes

Today was the first day I walked through the doors of DuPont Children's Hospital -- without my little boy. There are so many different feelings going through my tired emotionally overloaded mind. It feels weird to enter that building as Karen Owens, not Gavin's mom. Even though I believe I will always be known as Gavin's mom or the Mom who never sleeps, as I found out I was known as for Gavin's first year of life by the nursing staff, there is part of my title that has forever changed.


I am now a mother who has lost her child -- I have joined the unwanted club of grieving mothers.


In an odd sort of way there is so much peace in walking through those doors-- after all this was a place of healing. We would bring Gavin through these doors not knowing if these were his last moments only to walk back out a week or so later with our little Boy still hanging on to life. I walk through these doors today as a broken women finding healing by giving back to the place who has given me so much. This place gave us safety and most of all it gave us more time with Gavin and more time as a family.

Photo Credit: Ryan EstesPhoto Credit: Ryan Estes

Today we were able to donate Gavin's infant warmer to the unit we lived on for the past three years it was a much needed piece of equipment as the current warmers on the unit as so old and annoying.  I was also able to  drop off a proposal for a support group we are going to be starting at duPont.  We re very excited to launch this new support group early next year!


You all are rockin' the Babylegs Campaign -- keep up the great work and spread the news! We can keep those chubby legs warm this winter!


Photo Credit: Ryan Estes, NILMDTS

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

So precious.
Thanks again for letting us all into your lives.
Cindy

Anonymous said...

You always have and are still amazing me Karen.

Heather said...

I wish I could buy you a ticket out of that club Karen.I truly do.Sending you love from across the miles.

Jodi R said...

Once again Karen, you are amazing. These photos are so precious in so many ways.

Tina said...

Again, these photos are so powerful that I find tears streaming down my cheeks just looking at them. I really hope one day to meet you all in person. Your faith and strength inspire me.

Jamie Fenley said...

Beautiful pictures of a beautiful family. And yes, duPont is an amazing place. Thank you for contributing to it.

Misty said...

beautiful photos and beautiful, amazing spirit! you are amazing karen and you inspire me! i have been eyeing those baby legs and plan on donating some to your cause, and also buying some for mason :)

hugs and continued prayers for you healing!

Tiffani said...

Oh, this photos just move me, Karen..

Thank you for sharing them.

I love that you are continuing to share your life with DuPont and doing some great things with/for them!

Lorra said...

The photos are beautiful and tell a wonderful story about your family. Thank you for allowing us to love your family through your posts. As I wipe tears, I'm so inspired by you. Remembering Gavin, indeed. Praying for your forever peace.

Shari said...

I agree! Precious pictures! Karen, I want to watch the celebration video, but can't open it up no matter what I try. Could you email it to me at slfunk3763@hotmail.com? Thanks for sharing your life. It has changed my life for the better.

Anonymous said...

Your strength is admirable! And the pain that you and your family have endured is unimaginable. But from every bad comes a good and you definitely are portraying that from the work that you are doing on behalf of your son to help others. You are very inspiration and I commend you for that!

Elizabeth said...

"Does he have any good days?" That is profound. We also lost our 4 month old (6 years ago) to Mitochondrial Disease and I remember that 4th of July, 5 days before he left his earth bonds - his last smile. It is a club, not one anyone would join willingly, but it connects us to this knowing subset of parents. What a beautiful boy, what a busy life; this is true love.

Anonymous said...

I don't know your family, but rather stumbled across your blog through the blog of a friend of a friend. i can't stop reading it. your faith is incredible and is challenging mine, which is a great thing! in his 3 short years here, your incredibly beautiful little boy has changed eternity for so many people. what an amazing thing to get to see the powerful way God revealed himself in this sweet, tiny little guy.
Blessings on your family! I am praying for overwhelming peace and JOY for your guys. ~ Lisa

Renee Little said...

These pictures are so full of love.

I hate that moments like these pass so quickly.

I am encouraged and challenged by your desire to share and give back.

You and your family are in my prayers. God is doing BIG things.

Anonymous said...

Reading your words during Gavin's last days moved me, but seeing these pictures took my breathe away. The reality of what was happening pains me. I simply cannot fathom the pain of losing a child. I think about you and your family often and I hope you settle into your new normal as happily as you can.

Anonymous said...

You all are so amazing....so precious are the photos that you shared with us....thank you

Kathy in Texas

Elle Evangeline said...

Truly remarkable how one little spirit can move such large mountains. Gavin's life and your family's story have had such a profound effect . . .on me and so many others. . .that words hardly do it justice. As we approach the holiday season, I'm thankful for so many things: family, friends, health. But ever present . . .at the forefront of my mind, is how grateful and thankful I am for your teaching. Karen, your words have challenged me to look at my own life, my own faith, my own normal, and see all the beauty it has to offer, even when beauty doesn't seem present. This Thanksgiving, I give thanks to you, Adam, Madi, and Gavin. . . for the lessons you've taught, and for the ones you continue to teach.

Mark Lopa said...

These pictures are precious. I never noticed Gavin's cleft chin before...makes him all the more distinguished I think. I enjoy looking at this little man. Thank you so much for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Yes, such amazing pictures and thoughts.

I too had trouble opening the video but it just seemed to take a long time. I had left my desk and a bout 5 minutes later here was the service starting! Well done.

Heidi said...

(((Karen))) These pictures are beautiful. I think of your family often, and as painful as it is to know little Gavin is gone, I love that youre continuing to share him with all of us. He has truly changed my life. The support group is a wonderful way to give back and do some healing too. Im still in awe of you and Adam, Im comforted knowing you found peace in Gavi's final moments. Continued prayers...and hugs to that beautiful little girl of yours--
Heidi and Jack.