Thursday, November 5, 2009

A Little More Time...

More time -- that's all I really want right now.  We have been talking about Gavin's death before he was even born, yet nothing could have prepared me what these next few days or weeks will hold.  I find myself in disbelief as I hear the words come out of the doctor's mouth.  I just want more time.


I want so badly to bring him home into the house that so many people have worked so hard to make happen -- but I just don't know if it will happen.  The doctors believe he does not have much longer.  I believe he is going to come home, but as I sit hear and listen to the alarms going off telling me that the bipap is breathing for him I start to question.  My heart feels that if we can just get him home -- give him something to fight for, he will turn around.  I would be happy with just another week.  I want his Doctor there.  I want to make sure the photographer is there.  I want my family there.  I want it all to be prefect and planned.


Death is anything but planned.


It sucks.


The difficult part of this process is that Adam and I's decisions determine how long we have.  He is suffering. In order to relieve that suffering we want to give him the medication he needs to find peace and relief.  More more meds we push, the more difficult it is for him to breath. Although lots of fluid was pulled off him over the past two days his lungs have not improved, but rather have gotten worse.


I just want more time.

79 comments:

KimberlyDi said...

You are his parents and you will do what is right for him at the right moment. I'm still praying that he'll pull through. God Bless. I've seen miracles happen before. I pray we will see one happen here.

Anonymous said...

Karen,

There are no words. None that will make this any easier. My only hope is that by knowing you are being lifted up and prayed for that it might bring some form of comfort to your heart. My prayer has been more time. That is what I have asked for and what I will continue to plead for your family. I too want for him to make it to your new home. I want this for him, for Madison, for Adam, and for you. I'm praying. Sincerely, Trish Adams

bridget said...

praying for you, for all of you and for Gavin, that he will make it to his new home.

Heather said...

Praying for more time Karen.Praying oh so very hard for more time.And always,always holding on to hope and the belief in miracles.

amy said...

praying here for more time too...

Paige said...

My heart breaks for your family. You will make the best and the right decision for Gavin. I'm praying so hard for you and your family.

grey like snuffie said...

Father hear her cry!

Anonymous said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I pray that you find peace in what God has already planned for Gavin and the rest of your family.

Dannette ( a mom who has been following your blog)

Anonymous said...

We're believing and praying that God will give you the desires of your heart...more time with your precious boy.
With love,
Renata M.

Longmeadow Mama said...

Gavin will be going home either way. home or Home. Praying for God's perfect timing.
Love and prayers,
Kelli

Lucy and Ethel said...

I have been reading your blog lately and am so sorry about the latest.

I do know mostly what you're going through, although our monster was called spinal muscular atrophy (SMA), and our baby, Jeffrey, was at home at the end.

Many prayers for your family - for Gavin's comfort, for the opportunity to bring Gavin home, and for wisdom and courage for you.

Sending big hugs from NC -
Helen/'Lucy'

Anonymous said...

I am so praying for your sweet Gavin and your entire family! Praying for more time with your beautiful son at home! ~meghan

Kate said...

I have been, and will continue, praying for more time, for whatever you and Adam need to be able to let Gavin go peacefully.

My heart breaks a bit more each time I visit and I cry for you, your husband, and your daughter because I can imagine how sad you are. And Gavin... I pray for Gavin, a boy with an incredible fighting spirit, a smile that lights up a room, and a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. I care about him and I've never met him... how much more, exponentially, is he adored and loved by you.

I will ask God to please give you that week and for Him to tell you when it's time and to give you the peace that surpasses human understanding to get you through this.

I'm so sorry... but I will keep praying.

reesha said...

Whatever deciscions you guys make will be the right ones. Never doubt yourselves or your decisions!

Our family is visualizing him in the new house with you guys and future memories of pictures of him happy at the new house for us to enjoy online.

Hang in there, be strong, but also know that it is ok to be weak and fall apart too.
Reesha

Catherine said...

I can't imagine what you are going through...just know that I am praying.

Jennifer said...

Lord, please, please, hear the many prayers being lifted to you for Gavin, Madison, Karen & Adam, for just a little more time. Time to be together as a family. Time to make just few more precious memories, enough to last them a lifetime. Please help them all to be ready when you finally call Gavin home. Please let that be in Your time. If we could do it alone through prayer ourselves, Gavin would be running a marathon. Only you can make miracles happen. Please make one here.

Lisa Marie said...

Oh Karen, there are just no words. My heart aches for you and your family right now. I am praying that you do have more time... even just a little bit more time, and Gavin can be in his new home... You all are so beautiful and we're praying for Christ's love and comfort to wrap around you.

kate. said...

I have no words.
But I do have lots of love and support and friendship and prayers and positive thoughts for you.
I was so happy to see you today. You inspire me daily - whatever happens you will handle with the grace that we've come to know. You've taught us all what it means to have grace. Look at that- I guess I do have words.
Much love to all of you...

Ellen said...

There truly are no words! I am so very sorry you have to go thru this! I'm still praying for a miracle for Gavin! I'm praying for more time! I know you guys are making the right decisions for Gavin! May God Bless your family!

Anonymous said...

Praying for your family
Suzanne in SC

Anonymous said...

Praying Praying and PLEADING for an earthly miracle for our little Gavin. Oh God, hear our prayers...Father, you are the God over everything. You are the God of what looks impossible in human eyes. Father, please ease his breathing, give him everything that he needs to live. Thank you for the years you have given him and his family. Father, please hear our prayers for "more time"...Father hear us...

Prayer and Love,

Jennifer from CA

Laura said...

There really are no words right now.. but I am praying for you and your sweet family.

Nic said...

I will be praying for you family..

Shannon said...

So sorry...as others say, no words. Just support.

Tina said...

No words, just love and support, and prayers. His strength is a reflection of your strenth, and is an inspiration to us all.

Tina in Saskatchewan

Anonymous said...

We are praying for you all constantly. You have been through so much and I can only imagine how hard this is. My heart goes out to your whole family. Praying you can have more time with your precious son.

Montana (Nora's Dad)

Anonymous said...

Karen- Our Bible Study in Virginia is lifting you and Gavin and the family up in prayer. God hears your cries. He is holding you and your family in His hands. Praying for peace, wisdom and a miracle!

Sarah

Junior said...

Our prayers are with you

JayCee said...

"Lord, according to Your will, please give this family more time.
In Jesus Name, Amen."

Paula said...

My thoughts are with Gavin and your family. I hope you find comfort being together as a family wherever Gavin may be.

unzen said...

Gavin has been a Big fighter his whole life. I had never heard of Mitro until i found Gavin's Blog. As a parent we are to protect our children not say good bye. Trust what you feel. I am so sorry you are any one has to go through this kind of pain. I looked back in your Blog to read of Gavin's good times at home. He is suck a sweet boy and love how he sang ABC. I pray for peace for you all. I hope Gavin does not have more pain. I would love to see Gavin have more time. He has pulled through many other very hard times. If he goes to heaven i wish for a peaceful passing and peace for your family. Praying for your whole family.

Debbie said...

We are among the many who love Ashley Kate from afar and learned of your precious son from Trish's post. Praying for God's comfort to surround you at this time.
Hugs,
Debbie from Georgia

Anonymous said...

My heart is breaking for your very precious family, that I have come to love. I am praying for peace, for all four of you.

Erin said...

Praying so HARD for sweet Gavin. He is so tough. Love and prayers are with your family during this difficult time.

Erin
www.caringbridge.org/visit/braydenthomas1

Jodi R said...

Karen, I can't even speak as I read this. I am praying extra hard for you guys! Also that Gavin can see his new house and how much love and kindness went into it. We are praying praying for Gavin to have more time! ((((HUGS)))))

Wifeof1Momof4 said...

Praying for more time .. Father hear our prayer .. we KNOW You ARE sovereign ...

Cammie Heflin said...

Praying

Nicole, Drew, Jack, Megan, Sophie, and Lucy too said...

All the Marletts are praying for a miracle...for more time!

Mo said...

Praying for darling Gavin and your whole family.

Stacy Gerlach said...

Were Praying not only for Gavin but for the four of you! Praying His hand will hold you and hug you and bless Gavin in all her fights to do!
Hugs & Prayers!

Jen said...

While we've never met Gavin, through your blog, my family has fallen in love with your amazing son! My little girl prays for him every night, and I continue to pray for Gavin, Madison and you both for strength, comfort and peace. As a mom, my heart breaks for you and your family. While nothing I can say can ease this, please know that your son has touched so many lives. You are in our prayers.

Holly said...

Praying for more time. Time at home in your new house. Time together as a family all under one roof.

I'm sorry ya'll are having to make these decisions. Your heart will lead you.

Cathy Davis said...

No words.

Bless all of you.

brandiandboys said...

praying for more time... and for peace for each of you.

Anonymous said...

There are no words for me not much anyways. Of course there are always prayers to say.
Except to say:
Holy Mother Of God,
Be with Gavin's family as they go through this time together. Help Gavin to heal properly. He wants home, family, any place except the hospital. Through your Son and the angels and saints, i offer up a prayer begging for mercy for him.
St. Nicholas hold him in your arms. And banish any fear or doubt they may have about the doctors words.
In the name of Mary and our Lord,
AMEN

Anonymous said...

What you and your husband have given to your children is unselfish and unconditional love and whether you are in your new home or at the hospital that is time no one can take away from you. You have given them so many good memories. When somebody looks in the dictionary of what a good parent shoud be like your husband and your names will be there.

Rochelle said...

I want you to have more time with Gavin, too. I have loved following his story and I am so sad for you right now. Praying for time and for wisdom for you and your husband. You have loved him well and will make the best decisions for him. Praying for miracles.

Rochelle Sanderson

Anonymous said...

Dear Heavenly Father, please give Karen her desire for more time with Gavin, time to spend with him in their new home. Please bless and protect this family, and give them peace. Pour out Your love and Your tender mercies on Adam, Karen, Madison and Gavin. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

We lift up our eyes to the hills. Where does our help come from? Our help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip, Karen. He who watches over you and little Gavin will not slumber. Indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you, Karen. The Lord is your shade at your right hand. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep Gavin from all harm; He will watch over his life. The Lord will watch over his coming and going, both now and forevermore.

Anonymous said...

oh this is so hard. praying for peace for you and your family. just echoing what everyone else has already said. there are no words, but many prayers.
lynne

Shari said...

No words! Just praying everyday! My heart breaks for your family!

Darby said...

I am praying for you... those are the only words I can offer. I am praying.

gitz said...

praying with you and for you.

Anonymous said...

My thought are with Gavin and your family. I am so sorry for everything you have been though and everything you are going thought. I just can't imagine, my heart breaks for you.
Katy Read

Daniele said...

I've been following you guys for some time... I think of Gavin daily, and I love his energy. Whatever decisions you make for him will always be the best ones, made with the love and pain that only parents of such sick kids can know. Peace be with you all.

Kathy said...

With tears and prayers, we are too in prayer. What a precious little one.

Ashley (A Mom from Pa who 'visits' Dupont often with her son.) said...

I'm praying.....

Anonymous said...

Thank you Jesus for Gavin; for his smile which brightens other's spirits - they are Your eyes. Pure Love, acceptance and joy. How lucky he will be when he gets to play with You in Heaven.
Thank you Jesus for Karen, Adam and Madi, who need your comfort right now as they faces an unimaginable pain and heartache. Bless them for allowing us to go on this terrible journey with them - with courage and grace and a living testimony of their Faith in You

Lord, We lift the whole family up before you. Allow them a little extra time with Gavin. Holy Spirit just intervene - for there are no words - on behalf of Gavin and his amazing family
Amen

Joy

Anonymous said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You have made so many right decisions this far. Believe in yourself and your faith. Lord hear all of our prayers.

All my love
Sherry Strock

Lorra said...

Praying for a miracle for precious Gavin.

Stephanie said...

Praying for supernatural peace for you. Praying that you can cherish every moment you have with Gavin. Your heavenly Father hears your cries.

Anonymous said...

Karen,
You are such an amazing mom and Gavin is sooo lucky to have you. God chose you and Adam to take care of Gavin during his time on earth and you definitely did not disappoint Him.
<3 Lauren

Reagan Leigh said...

No words...just prayers. You are in my constant thoughts and prayers.

Misty Rice said...

Its not fair.

I hurt for you.

I don't like reading those words, or the fact that you heard them, and you had to write them and or that the doctors say them to you.

Its not fair.

I cry and I hurt, longing for you to have more time with your SON. Your CHILD. Your GIFT FROM GOD.

I am deeply sadden to read this post tonight. I have been reading for sometime now. Hoping and excited to see your family in the new home WITH Gavin.

Is it really coming to this?

Take him home, let him smell his bed, hear his cartoon. Give him LOVE, LOVE, LOVE...

Any choice as his parents you make will be hard, but will be RIGHT, because no one loves that little boy like you do, other than God himself.

Praying so much for you all.

God Bless.

Anonymous said...

Praying......~Moses'

pete wilson said...

Praying for you guys right now!

Lindsey said...

Oh, Karen, my heart is aching for you, your family, and precious Gavin. Know that we are praying for you daily.

Kait said...

My heart breaks. We'll keep praying, always.

Heidi said...

oh Karen...I just keep praying he will turn that corner...giving you all more time, more time to love him...more time period. Im so sorry...my heart is breaking for your family tonight, youre in my constant thoughts and prayers.

jamie said...

i cannot imagine what you are going through right now, but you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. i have been reading your blog for a pretty long time now and have always been inspired by gavin, although i have never met him i can tell that he is the sweetest boy...and i want so badly for you to have more time with him.

Raeann Schoudt said...

Dear Jesus
Draw near to Adam, Karen, Madi and Gavi. Let them feel your arms of love around them, holding them tight. Let the prayers of your saints lift them up on wings like eagles, and no matter what, may they know that you are good and you hear every cry of their hearts, and are closer than close. And Lord I ask that Gavi would be able to go home, to the new house, that you would hear and answer the cry of so many hearts. In you sweet and precious name.
Amen
I love you guys!
Raeann

Demetria Murdock said...

Hi Karen,
My heart is with you and your family. I was brought to your blog through twitter. Reading your post, I remember when my husband and I were right where you are right now. My son was fighting against Liver Cancer @ 4 years old. I pray that God gives you and your husband strength and courage in fight for your son's life. Rejoice in the HOPE of the Glory of God. Romans 5:1-5

Demetria Murdock
www.dememurdock.blogspot.com

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

There are no words ... just prayers and tears. Hoping for a miracle.

Lorra said...

Dear Jesus, Please fill little Gavin's lungs with air and give him comfort. Heal his body, Lord, and let him come home with his family. Give us a miracle, Father. Hold the Owens family in your loving arms and bring them peace. In Christ' Name.
Amen

Much Love to the Family~

Janice said...

My prayers are with your family. May God hold you all in his loving arms.

Tiffany Lockette said...

I am still praying for a miracle for little Gavin. My heart is breaking in half for you and your family. Such pain should not have to be felt. My prayers and love are with you always.

sarah endy said...

Praying for you all. We love you and are thinking of you. Praying for comfort and peace for Gavin. We love you Gavin!!

Isabelle said...

I don't we do not know each othere but I would still like to send out good vibes and prayers your way. My heart goes out to you

jennifer said...

Thinking of little Gavin and your family today and always.

Anonymous said...

And Jesus said "let the children come unto me"

My prayers are with you and your family. May God give you peace and comfort as you face this loss. Know that Gavin will fly with the angels while he waits to be with you all in heaven.