This morning Gavin was showing some signs of improvement. After addition Albumin and lasix last night his swelling seemed to go down a little bit. He was a little more alert and even watched tv for a short amount of time before falling back asleep. This afternoon however he wasn't looking so great. Throughout the day his third spacing or swelling came back with a vengeance. I hardly recognize my little boy. His skin is so stretched it looks painful.
Early this evening they rewired a new line into Gavin's groin as they didn't think he has stable enough to endure a new broviac placement. He did well in the OR and they managed to use the least amount of sedation in order to prevent intubation with the fear that they would not be able to extubate him. Tonight he will be receiving blood and more lasix, again to try to pull the massive amounts of fluid out of his skin.
We are going home tomorrow. I guess I'm happy but it's a bitter sweet time. I still have hope but it's so hard to hang on to that hope when our doctors are preparing us for the worst, which seems like it is becoming more and more reality. Today was a difficult day emotionally. One hour I was a crying fool and the next I felt so detached from the situation. I guess that's all normal.
It was so amazing to watch Madison and Gavin have some time together. If I could go back and change one thing it would be to have allowed Madi to have more interaction with Gavin. I plan on making up for some lost time and giving her some really special time with him. There is still hope. If he can get over this respiratory hump then we will be back to our original plan and taking him home with his last line and just waiting until be got an infection we could not treat and then peacefully letting him go. Our plan is now all messed up and Im just praying things will quiet down once we get him home.
After all home is the best place to heal.