Saturday, November 7, 2009

Our Fighter...

Wow-- what a past 48 hours it has been.  Gavin is still fighting and we are just waiting for him to find peace.  Yesterday around 3pm we made the decision to remove Gavin from the biPap as it was just acting like a ventilator and he was not triggering his own breaths.

We all mourned and cried as we said our final goodbye.  The doctors waited in anticipation of the inevitable but that still, 8 hours later has not happened.  Gavin decided to breath on his own.  He is not breathing well and is only sating in the upper 70's right now and his lungs are filling with secretions.

This is not what we expected -- this is not what anyone expected.  His CO2 levels are rising which may give him a peacful death but also triggers his body to breath.  The doc said that when an individuals O2 is in the upper 70's they will see a cycle begin to occur.  The body is triggered to breath and the O2 goes up a bit and then falls back down -- that's where we are at.  It will not be until be is in the low 70's that his body will probably not be able to recover and then he will finally be at peace.

Adam and i are a mess.  Yesterday when we took him off the biPap we mourned the loss of our baby boy.  To have to watch him go through a slow death is almost unbearable.  It will happen and we know that but it is difficult for us to see him as we already kinda let him go.

Madison is having a very difficult time as well and is very confused.  My family came back to the hospital today and Madison did not want to come.  She didn't understand why she had to come back -- why we were still here, if Gavin was already in Heaven.  It's so hard. 

Please pray so hard Gavin can stop fighting and just finally find some peace.  He has fought so hard his entire life this is the only thing he knows how to do.  It is horrible watching him go through this.  We feel like we are having to watch him die twice.


115 comments:

Anonymous said...

my heart is with your family. your beautiful boy has touched countless lives.
jessica in st. louis

Robyn said...

May peace find you and Gavin today.

Cammie Heflin said...

I prayed and prayed for you guys last night, I am hoping that things are peaceful for all of you.

phil said...

find Peace Gavin, and may Adam, Karen, Maddi and your family know God's peace during this difficult time

Nevididi said...

I pray that you will welcome Gavin home heavenly father. His little body is ready to rest. May you wrap your arms around all of Gavin's family today and hold them close in your loving arms. Amen

Anonymous said...

My heart is with you and your family.I have followed Gavin's story for the past year...I pray for peace for all of you. Gavin touched so many peoples lives, even those he never met.He certainly changed mine. May God bless you all.

jocalyn said...

oh, Karen. Praying for peace and comfort for your whole family.

Anonymous said...

Karen and Adam,

My prayers are with you. Your pain is unimaginable. Tonight he will be in paradise with our Heavenly Father. No words can adequately express my thoughts or prayers for you, Gavin, and Madi at this time.
Madi will be ok. You are amazing, loving parents who will be able to guide, nurture and care for her in her hour of need just as expertly as you have done for Gavin. Constantly praying for you today, tomorrow, next week, next month...

Joy

Anonymous said...

He truely is a fighter. My heart is aching for you and your family. I dont know how your family is doing it but keep a hold of that strength.

Kait said...

In some small way, though it is painful, you are seeing your Gavin's spirit shine even through death. He has touched so many of us. We will continue to pray, for Gavin, your family, for peace and comfort.

Sarah M. said...

have been thinking of y'all and praying. I hope he finds peace.

carrie-anne said...

may God hold you and keep you. i pray gavin finds peace and rests in His arms. your beautiful boy has touched so many and reminded us to live and love always...no matter what. our hearts are with you all right now. many prayers are being said.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you all right now and speaking this verse on your behalf .... "Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you." 2 Thessalonians 3:16
Be blessed and be safe in Him
~Debbie Heisey

Anonymous said...

my heart goes out to you. may gavin find peace.

Sarah said...

Praying for peace for Gavin. Gavin you have permission to go home to live with Jesus...where you will no longer be in pain. Your family will miss you but they love you and will see you again. It's okay to go.

Susan Hart said...

Thanks for updating us! You are all still in our prayers.

Anonymous said...

May God's heavenly presence be wrapped around all of you during this part of Gavin's life. So soon he will be free of pain and sitting at Jesus's feet - what a beautiful image that is. Hang tough and know that you are being showered with prayers.

Dannette

Thomas Family said...

Dear Karen and Adam,
Our hearts are aching so much for you. I know there are no words to bring comfort during this very hard time. But know that you both have been so heroic through all of this and since day one have given Gavin the best life possible. Your strength and love is amazing. We are praying that your sweet Gavi finds peace soon.

Amy Beth @ Ministry So Fabulous! said...

I'm still praying for you all... still, still praying.

Jennifer said...

Karen, praying that Gavin is able to peacefully let go. Praying for you & Adam & Madison...you've all been on my heart and mind & never far away. So many things I wish I could find the right words to say.

Michelle said...

Praying hard that everyone involved finds peace and comfort... My heart continues to ache for your family.

Alicia said...

I actually happened upon your bog this morning, for the first time. I have no words, but offer my prayers.

~♥Alli♥~ said...

Praying so very hard.

Kate said...

Heavenly Father, open Your arms and bring this precious and much loved child home to You. Surround these loving parents with your peace.
In Jesus' beautiful name,
Kate

Suzan said...

Reading your update brought tears to my eyes. I truly can not imagine what you and your family are going through. I pray that your little fighter can find peace, that Madison can find understanding and that you all can find comfort.

Ellen said...

Praying for peace and comfort for Gavin! Praying for sweet Madi! Praying for your family! I am so sorry!

Christina said...

Is it possible a miracle is happening here? With Gavin fighting for his life......

Candace said...

Peace for your family and for Gavin to have no pain. LOVE

kate said...

Why am I not surprised? Oh, Gavin...rest. It's okay! I'm so sorry you have to go through this, Karen and Adam. My heart breaks for you. If you get a moment, read my CB from yesterday.
xoxoxo to all.

Anonymous said...

Dear Karon and Adam,
We pray for God' peace for all involved in this moment in time. Our hearts and prayers are with you guys. May the Holy Spirt hold you tight in HIS arms as you have shown that very same love to your son,
A special little boy who has also touched very many peoples lives.
With ALL our Love
Mark and Lisa Malizzi

Rob Cheryl said...

I just read through your blog. My heart goes out to you and your family. I have work in long term care for a long time and know that no matter what the age, this is never easy. My prayers go out to your family. Just know that God's time is not our time. In God's plan everything is perfect including the timing. I am praying for peace for all of you and strength to get through this time. I am also praying that you will let Gavin's life continue to touch others. I also pray you will find your place in touching others lives. God Bless!

Anonymous said...

We have followed your story the last few months and our hearts go out to you. Praying for peace for your family, and rest for little Gavin.

Love and Peace,
the Levers

Jimmy DeWan said...

My prayers and thoughts are with you guys.

ronnie lowenfield said...

praying for your family. praying for peace. praying for God's presence to be felt stronger than ever. thank you for your witness - it is touching many lives here in texas.

Lori Fogg said...

Gavin, Karen, Adam and Maddi you are all in my thoughts and prayers. Gavin I pray that you can go in peace. The world loves you little Angel!

God Bless you All!

Anonymous said...

I am sorry you have to watch him in such anguish. I am praying that his struggle will end soon!

Michelle said...

I also want you to know that it is not ONLY Gavin that has touched so many of us. The dedication of you and Adam to the Lord and to your children has been a true blessing to see. To see the smiles of your children, and the joy in their eyes, is a true testament of what you and Adam have done in their lives. So inspiring...

Tyler's Mommy said...

your boy has touched my life in a way you cannot begin to imagine. i sit here holding my little one just a little bit tighter.

keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers and knowing that gavin will find his long awaited peace today.

much love, owens family, much love.

ISO (In search of) said...

That has got to be so hard. I know you all must be very tired. Praying Gavin will drift peacefully when the time comes. Praying a special prayer for your brave little Madison, who also has endured more than any sibling should have to at such a young age. I pray she find comfort in knowing that you have given both of your children your absolute best with all your heart. I know it's heartbreaking not to have her there but she will shine again soon like the bright star she is meant to be. Virtual hugs from a family who has been touched by yours in so many ways.

Katherine said...

You have been on my mind and heart so heavily the last few days-I kept checking twitter for updates. Continuing to pray for all of you and that Gavin will find peace soon in the arms of Jesus. May He surround you all with His great love and comfort as only a Father can.

Rhea said...

Praying for you!!! Gavin is an amazing little guy and has really touched so many people's lives.

Heather said...

My heart aches for what your family is going through. I hope Gavin finds peace today.

Fran said...

My heart just breaks for all of you.
Please know that you are being prayed for so many times and are loved.

May His peace cover you,
Fran
TN

Anonymous said...

"Lord, come carry Gavin home. Bring peace to his little body. Help him fall asleep in your Welcoming, Loving Arms. Surround Adam, Karen, and Madi with your Comfort, Strength, and Peace. Bring much needed, restful sleep to them. We thank You for your Faithfulness." Continually praying for all of you. Love, Randy & Marilyn

Anonymous said...

I don't think God necessarily waits for the bodily functions to stop before he takes the soul home with him. What you are experiencing is absolutely a nightmare, but know that God is taking care of Gavin.
I am so heartbroken for your family. Hold on to your faith and to each other.

jennifer said...

mourning with you. through sharing Gavin your family's stories, you all are a part of us all.

Lisa said...

Praying for peace for everyone. Gavin will be sitting on the lap of Jesus soon.

Jen said...

praying for peace to cover you all today..my heart is just breaking for you..

Anonymous said...

Please know your family are in our thoughts and prayers today, as we are headed to a fundraiser for mito hosted by Amber Ferrell.
Beth, Brian and Matthew Turner in Macclenny, FL

Anonymous said...

Praying for the peace your family so deserves. God bless all of you.

DiCesare Family said...

Our hearts are with you today...
We are hoping and praying that Gavin finds some peace....

Thinking and praying for all of you.... You are an amazing family!!!
Much love to you all...

DiCesare Family said...

Our hearts are with you today...
We are hoping and praying that Gavin finds some peace....

Thinking and praying for all of you.... You are an amazing family!!!
Much love to you all...

Anonymous said...

I've never left a comment before but have followed your families blog for quite some time. I have been to your home a few times to draw Gavin's blood, filling in for Heather. I followed Erin Curtis's blog since her daughter Avery was diagnosed & somehow through reading others blogs came across yours. I am so glad I did! I would think of your little guy often after I first met him & I was glad to be able to follow along with what was going on in Gavin's life. I am so sorry that it has come to this. Your son has so much light in his little eyes and I believe that is a direct result of the life you provided for him. You never seemed to let the difficulties of life with a medically fragile child stop you from allowing him to experience life. I am thankful that you shared your sweet boys life & your families journey with all of us. Your family, your commitment reminds me everyday not to take one single minute for granted. My family and I will continue to pray for your beautiful son to find the peace that eluded him on this earth & the enormous love that he had here to follow him into his heavenly home where he will be healed, waiting for you all to one day be reunited. I pray for all your family, especially you, Adam & Madison to know you have given Gavin more in his three short years than some people give over an entire lifetime. Gods peace & love to all of you at this moment & in the many moments to come.

Kristi said...

I just found your blog yesterday and I prayed so hard for Gavin last night. I will still pray today. I have a 3 year old son and I can't imagine your pain. There is a lump in my throat as I type this. I pray for so much peace for Gavin and your family.

Krystena K. said...

Unbelievable. Could it be anymore painful... I will never understand why things like this happen.

All my love....

Jessica said...

For some reason I am hearing this song the morning...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUoxenHWun4

"Come to Jesus" by Chris Rice

Praying.

Just little ole me said...

Praying that Gavin will go peacefully and that he will go to his loving heavenly fathers arms. May the Lord surround Gavin and all of his family in this time of need. In Jesus' name I pray.

Becca said...

Godspeed, Gavin.

Karen... Could he possibly be waiting for someone or something? Is there any chance of taking him home as he is still holding on?

I am sending thoughts of love, strength and peace to all of you.

Anonymous said...

We are praying and praying and praying for you all.

Dear God, We know You are the God of wonders, the Lord of heaven and earth. Please help Gavin take his last breath on earth so that he may take his first breath in heaven. Please be with the Owens family now and surround them with Your peace. Thank You for Your continued wisdom and strength for them. Amen

Love,Jon,Pam,& Gabe Good

Ben said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beth said...

You guys are so amazing.....praying for peace and comfort to you all during this waiting time. Go home Gavi, go on home....
beth in colorado

Sharon said...

Continueing to pray....

Anonymous said...

Karen,
I wentthrough a very similar experience with my mom in June. We took her off the vent and expected her to go right away, but she hung on for about 12 hours. They kept her comfortable with Morphine so she didn't know. I can't imagine what your going through with your baby boy. We were thinking of you all night. Don't worry about Madi, she'll be fine. Stay strong and find peace.
Debbie S. in CT

Angela said...

Praying that Gavin can finally rest - no more pain for that precious little boy. I also pray that you (Karen), Adam and Madison can find peace and comfort. We all love you Gavin!

amy said...

what a little fighter! i didn't expect any less. he is an amazing little boy...and you are an amazing family. i pray for peace for Gavin and for each of you.

Tina said...

I mourned with you last night, assuming like you did that he would just sprout his angel wings and fly. Praying that our (and I say OUR because I can speak for everyone when I say he has become a part of all of us) little fighter will finally find some peace and fly.

Anonymous said...

You are the strongest people I have ever seen. I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out and couldn't image having to do this to my baby boy. I just started following you guys. I pray very much for you guys for you are the strongest i've heard of. I love yall already:-)

Reagan's Grandma said...

I have no words to express my feelings at this moment.....just know that I am willing all my strength to you and my prayers are continuing full force.

Anonymous said...

i am praying so very hard. i am only 16 but Gavin has touched my heart. i go to Morningstar and when i would see him all i could do is pray. he is a strong fighter but when he leaves, God is going to have his arms open wide saying welcome home.. i have been waiting for you. i can see that Gavin is going to be playing tag with Jesus! your family is going through a hard time but i do believe everything happens for a reason. BE BLESS BY GOD! Thank you Jesus for this little boy and family!
Love you all in Christ,
Heather Lee Reinhard Bechtelsville Pa

Anonymous said...

Ms. Karen and Adam,
I am praying for Gavin that he will soon find peace. I know that this is a trying time for everyone but no that GOD is always by your side and will see you through this difficult time. You all will forever be in everyone's heart because Gavin has touched many lives all around with his beautiful presence.

Monica

Anonymous said...

I had a hard time sleeping last night, I cannot stop thinking of Gavin. When I woke up this morning the first thing I did was check your updates. I watched some of your small videos of Gavin last night and I cried the whole time. The sweetest one is with the gloves all over him, and at the end when he says, "I love you too". Just remember that, he loves all of you, I know he'll want you to forever stay strong. Little Gavin, you are a BLESSING to us ALL. Thank you for inviting my family and many other families into your life, we have all gained a better understanding of love and faith. God Bless all of you. Gavin, you remain in my prayers little buddy....even though you are passing a small part of me wants a miracle and prays that you pull through. You will ALWAYS remain in my thoghts, you are very special and deserve nothing but the best. God Bless.
John Bravo
Keizer Oregon

Christie Gideon said...

I am praying for all of you that God brings you peace. Gavin is such a beautiful little boy and so lucky to have a loving family.

Misty said...

praying so hard for your little fighter to find peace at last! for all of you to find peace.

Kristy said...

I found your blog today on another blog, and your sons story just breaks my heart. From one heartroken mother to another, you are in my thoughts. I wish there was a miracle cure, a magical way to make Gavin better. I hope the little guy finds peace and comfort when he leaves this life. I'm so sorry for what you've all had to endure.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you all. I was like everyone else expected to hear that Gavin is in heaven. All last night when you all came to my mind I thought, wow he is heaven right now. Sorry to hear for your alls sake that he is still hanging on. I know it is hard but keep your chin up and I pray the Lord will give you such peace and comfort in this time that you could only know it came from him. Just like they did for Moses during the battle in the valley we are "holding up your arms" to the Lord while you keep up the faith!! Love and prayers.
Amy - Jonesborough, TN

Anonymous said...

May your family experience the same peace you wish for Gavin. Just dwell on how fortunate you had three years with your little one. Texas sends you all our love.

Caleigh's great-grandmother, Nana

Anonymous said...

Tears. Prayers. More Tears. More Prayers. My heart aches for you and I just want to join this army of folks and surround you with strength and support. We are storming heaven with prayers in Gavin's name. Thank you for sharing him and your story with us. May God bless you and Gavin with all that your hearts and souls need today and always.

Anonymous said...

praying for strength for you Karen, Adam, and Madison. Praying for comfort and peace for Gavin.

Heidi said...

Gavin, somehow it doesnt surprise me that youre still here fighting...proven to be such a little warrior, we all love you so. We'll continue to pray for you and when its just too much, you can let go and finally rest peacefully.

Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you as you go through this very difficult time...my heart is breaking for Madi :(

Heidi and Jack.

Anonymous said...

My heart aches for you and your family. I have been following Gavin and praying for a long time. I will continue to pray for peace for Gavin and for God's comfort and healing for your family.
Ashley in Phoenix

Twinkletoes said...

I am so sorry. Prating for you still.

Nicole, Drew, Jack, Megan, Sophie, and Lucy too said...

Praying for Peace and comfort for Gavin and your family. He is such a beautiful boy, a little hero...

Misty Rice said...

Wow. Talk about a hard journey and so many mixed emotions. In away you get your request "just a little more time".... but when you thought you said good-bye your hearts broke...and to go through that again.

My stomach turns in knots thinking of it.

Im so sorry...

Instead .... as hard as this may be. Keep whispering in his ears. Let him know you are still with him until he or HE is ready to go.

Praying for you.

God Bless.

Anonymous said...

Praying for peace for Gavin and your family.
-The Goering Family

christine said...

peace, little one
and to your big sister, peace,
and to your Mom and to your Dad, peace,
that passes understanding.

Sleep Well Sweet Soul xx

Franchesca Cox said...

Praying for peace.

Jodi R said...

Karen and Adam, I am so glad that I met your family, what a joy is has been to follow Gavin and Madi through all of this. Now that his little smile is gone, we are grieving with you at this time. Praying that Gavin finds peace and you find strengh. Praying for poor little Madison that she find some kind of understanding. (((HUGS)))

Lisa Marie said...

we are continuing to wrap you in prayer...

mackenzie said...

i am so so sorry. thinking of you and praying for peace.

Christy said...

I am praying for peace for all of you. I can't imagine the depth of your pain but I pray you find the strength to get through it all. I do not know your beautiful baby boy, but I am holding him in my heart as if he were my own. My thoughts have been continuously with you. Please know you are not alone in your time of pain. God Bless.

Rebecca said...

Still praying and you all are not far from my thoughts...pray without ceasing. He is such a fighter! God continue to bless you all and grant wisdom and understanding. Praying for Madison and her struggles. How hard it is for her!

Rebecca said...

Still praying and you all are not far from my thoughts...pray without ceasing. He is such a fighter! God continue to bless you all and grant wisdom and understanding. Praying for Madison and her struggles. How hard it is for her!

Sally Taylor said...

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I have two children with mitochondrial disease, one who has severe GI-motility issues, and my heart just breaks reading about little Gavin's fight. I am confident he is running, laughing, and playing in Heaven with all the other mito kids!
May his spirit soar...
Sally

Anonymous said...

I found your blog through another ~ I will continue to pray for you and your family ~ May God bless you. May he wrap his arms around you and surround you with peace. Sarah

Tyler's Mommy said...

praying for peace, for adam, for karen, for madison....and most of all, for dear sweet gavin.

Abell said...

We will definitely be praying for your family and that God will hold you especially close during this extremely difficult time. We will also pray for Madison and that God would hold her in His hand and give her comfort.

Anonymous said...

You can get well soon, Gavin, I know it. I just know it.

My name is Laurie Jones. said...

Your son is absolutely beautiful and has obviously touched the hearts of many. My heart is heavy for what your family is going through. My prayers are with you all.

Anonymous said...

i cannot express how much my heart is aching for you and your family. every other emotion in my heart belongs to all of you. God bless you and you will continue to be in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

recently heard about your family and you all have filled my heart. you have a very beautiful family and your little guy is adorable! every other emotion that flows through my heart belongs to you all. i pray for comfort to your daughter and peace to you all. God be with you.

Erin said...

My heart is with your precious family. Peace and love.....

Erin
www.caringbridge.org/visit/braydenthomas1

Melissa said...

Prayers and hugs from Colorado!

Anonymous said...

Peace, I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. -John 14:27

Suzie said...

Peace be with you.

The Avilas said...

Our hearts are with you all.

Anonymous said...

Adam and Karen we are praying. I cannot imagine. I have a grandson about the same age as Gavin. I just can't imagine. May the peace of God which passes all understanding rest and abide with you as Gavin enters His peace.

Heather said...

Praying hard for you that he find peace. I am sure you all have told him that it is alright but if you haven't maybe he needs to hear it. So sorry you are losing your little one. No parent should have to do that. Prayers from Oklahoma.

Deborah Hillegass said...

My heart is with your family as you endure this time. May Gavin find peace and comfort and may God give you a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Anonymous said...

May Gavin fly with the angels in peace soon. Praying for you all

Anonymous said...

Follow the Light, Gavin.

"As I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, the angels watch me through the night, until I wake in Your morning light..."

We love you.

marijeighn said...

Gavin and Family My friend Billy asked that I visit you special little guy. I am praying that this beautiful Sunday that the Lord has made for us will be a peaceful, painfree one for you. Please know that you are surrounded with love and prayers. Hugs and Blessings MJ/Angel_Wings

stephanie said...

So sorry I had to meet you this way. Praying for Gavin and your family.

Lisa said...

I am also praying for peace and comfort for you...I can only begin to imagine how hard this is. Your boy is so precious...I am just in awe at the magnitude of pain you must be feeling. My heart goes out to you and your family, and sweet Gavin.

AL V. said...

It's OK Gavin, whenever you are ready. Everyone that loves and cares for you is praying that you find peace soon. Your Creator awaits you to join him for never ending Peace and Love. God's speed to you young Gavin, whenever you are ready.

Anonymous said...

Karen and Adam.I didnt know Gavin in person but I saw him in pictures that his grandfather Jim shared with me at work at SFS Intec.I know he dont suffer anymore and he is another little angel in Heaven.I know he is on God's hands right now.
God blees you and your familly.
Jose Portalatin