Thursday, January 28, 2010

Clarification...

I didn't really want to address the comments on my last post but today decided that I should. We get some negative comments every now and again and usually just let it roll off our backs -- after all we are the ones who choose to make our life public.  Some comments are people just trying to stir things up and I choose just to ignore then as not to fuel their fire. Others are trying to help but in the end their comments hurt just as bad. 


To start off I just want to remind you of a few things that I think will help people understand my last post -- Adam and I watched our little boy suffer for three long years. We watched the very life be sucked out of him. We watched him go from a talkative little boy who loved to play with trains and trucks to a child who suffered with intense episodes of delirium and would scream for hours inconsolable. We watched as each of his organs began to be effected and overtaken by his disease. We watched him fight infection after infection each of which took a harder hit on his sick little body. Worst of all we watched our little boy endure a horrible death -- a 52 hour long episode of drowning in his own fluid.


The moment of Gavin's death brought our family an intense overwhelming time of both sorrow and joy. Our prayers were answered and the little boy that once lit up a room with his smile was now able to smile again -- in total perfect health.


A day or second does not go by that I do not think of my little boy who came from my very flesh, who I once held in my arms and gave every ounce of my energy to, caring for him and making sure all his intense medical needs were met.


So here we are now. Gavin is gone. And although I would give everything to lay a blanket over his grave and lay on the ground with my body pressed firm against that dirt -- just trying to get a little closer to his flesh, I can't. So Adam and I are taking all the thing that we feel Gavin left us behind as "gifts" -- having more time, more freedom, a new life and we are moving forward.


People need to remember this just because we are moving forward does not mean in anyway that we are leaving our little boy behind. Gavin's very essence is woven through our family, his spirit is what our family is all about. And for the joy part -- how can we not feel intense joy that our little boy is no longer suffering? Our joy is the testament of a loving God who chose to not let our son suffer any more -- and begun the healing of our hearts.


So there you have it. This is where I am at. Please remember that this is a blog. There is a real live family behind these words. There are real emotions and moments that don't get put on this page -- simply because these are just words. I am just a women longing to find my place here on Earth, my place as a child of God and the answers to how I will live the rest of my life without my little boy.

75 comments:

Jessica said...

Amen and Amen!

Phyllis said...

well said!

Team Carter Jay said...

Very well said! You never know what it's like to walk in another person's shoes. Bless you and your family :)

Anonymous said...

Beautifully said. Wishing you and your family much happiness.
Tina

Amber said...

Perfectly put, Karen. I personally believe that God has given you immense grace to deal with Gavin's death by making you aware that it is okay to be happy as a new family of 3. "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:7

Sure, many can not understand the peace you have in your life right now because God has given YOUR family that peace and grace...peace which others absolutely can not understand.

I thank God on your behalf for this. You are an absolute blessing to so many of us...please remember that.

Anonymous said...

I cannot even believe someone would have the ignorance to question you going on with your life....they obviously haven't kept up on the blog!!!! You are and were a wonderful mother and father to Gavin, and you you are finding a new normal in a VERY healthy way!! Go you and God bless your family!!!

Misty Rice said...

Said with class and I have tears in my eyes hurting for that fact that you even had to express such words today.

People need to realize, that no one knows or understand things until they have been through it. And people react, handle and grieve differently just has the color and shade of their choices.

I think what people that are being judgmental are feeling is all your new joys, new freedom, trips and fun.... but they are there seeing the pain and the tears, and they need to realize that, but most likely never will.

You continue to do what you are doing... leave the rest up to God.

Shannon said...

Absolute cowards. It's so easy to be mean when you can be anonymous.

Your blog is awesome, raw, honest, painful and an inspiration. I hug my child just a bit tighter everyday, thanks to your story.

As many have said, ignore the Trolls. They feed on your attention.

Jennifer said...

Karen, life has to move on! We lost Jack Henry 2 years ago and although it was a tragic loss we had no choice but to move forward and try to find happiness for ourselves. We now have the twin gils and have found a new life but it dosn't mean we ever forget our son--but he is gone and we had to accept that and deserve to be happy. You are such a wonderful family and are moving forward in such a healthy way. I'm thrilled reading your blog and seeing the smiles on Maddie's face and on yours. You have been through so much!!! Hugs, Jen

Stephanie said...

I just went back and read the tacky comments from your last post, and am appalled at those people. Yes, you are now a family of three. It sucks, but hiding from reality doesn't help. A friend of mine, at 28, became a widow when her husband committed suicide. She missed him, but never said she was married just to keep his spirit alive. She was a widow. That was her reality, and it did nothing to diminish the memory of her husband. Also, of course you are releived of a burden. That doesn't mean that you didn't love your son, though. I had a grandmother die of cancer, and yes, her death was a relief. It was a relief from watching her suffer and from the physical exertion her care necessitated. That is just a fact and does nothing to take away from the love I had for her or the pain I felt at her loss. Also, once the death comes, you can finally move on through your grief process. Sorry for this being so long, but I'm hoping one of the anonymous jerks will read this and give you the apology you deserve.

-Stephanie

Allie F. said...

Hi Owens Family,
I've never met you personally, but have become a "virtual friend" through your blog after discovering you guys from Gavin Leong's site. I wanted to let you know that I was horrified at the comments that were written, and want to applaud you for handling the situation with such dignity and grace. The "anonymous posters" should be ashamed of themselves and learn to keep their opinions to themselves. I recently came across this quote which I thought was perfect for you today, "Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can't always see... The pain someone feels." Always remember that for every two negative comments there are 200 positive thoughts and prayers coming from all over the country.

~ Katie ~ said...

well said!

Jess said...

You said that very well and as a (step) mom to a little boy with Batten's Disease who is traveling a long road as well I completely understand.

3saints said...

Oh you sweet girl
No one in the world can understand what it's like to watch your child suffer, to watch your child, your baby become someone you know isn't them. Unless you live this life no one has the right to judge...yes we open ourselves to those people out there by blogging but we blog to seek comfort and understanding from those we would normally never know.

Warmly
Kate

britta said...

I am sorry to hear that people are leaving rude comments. Those kind of people have obviously never suffered true heartbreak in their lives.

You guys are an amazing family, and more people need to live the way you guys do. Often times I wish I had the strength that you all had. Many times I draw from that strength to get through my own heartbreak of losing my best friend.

Love and peace.

Anonymous said...

No need to even explain yourself to insensitive blog trolls.

You guys are doing great. Everyone knows how desperately you miss Gavin. Keep on honoring his life and spirit by living your lives in such a beautiful way.

Renee Little said...

So sorry you had to endure those harsh words. The Devil is always ready and willing to attack.

You and your family have blessed me and mine. I am grateful for you...for the way God has used you. I admire how raw, real and open you are...You have encouraged me to just put it out there...and let God use it as He will.

Thanks Karen.

Hailey said...

I have been following your blog and I think you and your family have tremedous strength and faith in God. I was so saddened to hear about Gavin's death but we can rejoice knowing he is in a better place and not suffering anymore.
Keep pressing on and you know you will see him again one day. :)

ashley.marie said...

Wow, this was so great! What a perspective!
God is so good!

Christine said...

Your absolute honesty and grace inspires me daily. Just let it roll...when faced with people of true character and grace (like yourself) it is sometimes difficult for others to comprehend. It is unexplainable to them...doesn't make them bad people, they just cannot process TRUE grace...probably from never having experienced it themselves. It's like a dog looking at radio...they just don't know what it is or how to process. No need to explain anything to me, I get you...a lot of us get you. You are amazing!

carrie-anne said...

Well said Karen. Your family is a blessing. All of the things you have shared helped many people. Some people just need to remember the saying our parents used to say when we were little...If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Your family is a gift. Thank you for sharing your world with us all. God is doing a great and awesome thing through you all.
Prayers and Blessings to you!

Me and My Boys said...

Karen - I'm sorry you had to deal with such hurtful comments today. You often share on your blog what so many of us, who have lost children, think and feel but don't know how to express openly. Thank you for sharing your heart and encouraging us other moms who have had to say good-bye to our own children too soon. Jess

Anonymous said...

Nice to know there is such empathy from people out there. Unless they have suffered such a devastating loss, no one can know. It isn't like you have a choice, there is NO choice, you have to go on, even though you don't want to, you aren't given that option.There is no other option, which is sometimes the worst thing of all. And you get to define your life however you see it, it is your life after all. Eileen

Jen said...

I'm so sorry that you felt you had to say that (although, it was beautifully said.) You and your family are a true example of faith and grace. Your belief in Gavin's total healing is inspiring and says it all.

Kirsten Yarnall said...

Some people just really don't get the power of God and His ability to help us through the worst times in our lives. I tend to feel sorry for those people. You also need to keep in mind that when people come across something they do not understand~they tend to lash out in a negative way. That even happened to Jesus in the Bible. The people didn't understand and they were afraid. Out of fear they did horrible things. Sadly, people are no different all these thousands of years later. Judge, judge, judge. Personally, I am relieved that God has asked me NOT to judge others. I wouldn't be very good at it anyway!! I always tend to see the good (or look for it anyway) in ALL people. I just choose to believe that since we are all from God~there is good in all of us. We love you guys and will never judge you on how you choose to live this life that God has given you.

Gilda said...

Karen, i have been reading your blog since Gavins death and I have got to say I only read words of a mom who misses her little boy and is trying to move forward. There is so much you are doing in his memory still. Do not let those negative comments make you feel like your moving on without him we know you never will in your heart. We love you guys and I am sure Gavin is smiling down on you guys everyday, knowing that he did leave you the "gifts" to enjoy life because we know he is enjoying eternal life with our father.

Rich, Stacy & Billy Gerlach said...

Amen! We think yous are the best...and Gavin does too..I can see him saying "Thank you Mom, thank you Dad, thank you sissy...you are the best!
We love you and wish we could hugs you!

Erin said...

Your are an AMAZING mom and women. I have been following you and am amazed at all your faith! Amen to your post:)

Diane said...

You really don't have to justify yourself to those who care, and for people to anonymously force you into that corner - well, despicable doesn't quite cover it.

I love that you celebrate the breakthroughs, the 'selah' moments - even though I cannot comprehend your journey as I'm not even a parent - you inspire me as to what family, sacrifice & love is really about.

I wish I could wipe out the nastiness that has been vomited out in those comments, but I cannot, and they will have to live with their attitudes, mindsets and actions. Some people want you to beat yourself over the head, but they have no comprehension of grace, mercy, or how to grieve healthily.

Just know that many lives have been affected by Gavin, and we just want to give you an enormous hug and a 'keep going the best way you know how'.

We love you.

Misty said...

Forgive me for being mad at the ANONYMOUS..
Karen, don't EVER feel that you need to explain yourself to ANY of those 'anonymous people' who have NO idea what it is like to raise a medically fragile little one. Your family is AMAZING. Any fool can see that Gavin remains a part of you EVERY DAY and in every thing that you do and always will.
and to you anonymous people.. how on earth can you judge this family? have you watched your little one suffer.. terrified that he will die and also terrified that he will keep living to continue suffering? Do you have ANY idea what it is like to have to make the decisions that this family had to make?? or the pain that they have felt?? Do you know what it is like to raise a beautiful little boy with the FEAR *EVERDAY* that you could lose him at any moment? Have you ever truely grieved for your child..your life.. what could have been for your child were there not diseases, syndromes, disorders, and pain?
Karen, you have been so open and honest. I live in fear of losing my son every day. I hope that if I have to face what you have faced that I can be as open and honest about my emotions and feelings. I hope that I will have the strength that you and Adam and Madi have in moving forward while still in the grips of unimaginable grief. my heart still hurts for you so much, and I wish that you didn't have to deal with people like this...
Saying many prayers for you still... Keep on being strong.. you are an inspiration!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Misty

Nathan Duvall said...

Karen, when Adam mentioned something about this earlier today, I was shocked to hear that someone would be so insensitive. I can't imagine how badly that hurt and the feelings and thoughts that raced through your mind.

I got to speak with Adam the other day and I could sense the true joy in his heart, the relief and freedom that you now have, because you know Gavin is experiencing those exact same things now that he's in heaven. But I truly believe these feelings are due to the prayers of countless people at work in your lives as well. That's God throwing his arms of love and peace around you three. We've been praying for you guys and will continue to do so!

Lisa Marie said...

AMEN! So perfectly said. God is the provider of your peace and of Gavin's total healing and joy with Him now... your family is so beautiful and it's a testament to God how you can move forward through such a tragedy in your lives. Like someone else said, obviously people who leave rude comments have not felt God's peace like you have been blessed with. Thanks for sharing your beautiful lives, your hearts, and faith with all of us.

kerri said...

Don't let these people keep you from expressing your feelings. You need to be able to get them out. You do and say what you need to get through this and there is no way anyone should judge if they haven't walked in your shoes.

Holly said...

Karen, I too lost my daughter when she was three after a long,terminal illness and you summed up exactly how i felt.Only people that went through this could truely understand. and the majority of people that post on here are compassionate and human enough to grasp it.Try not to worry about the few who are'nt.

Jennjilla said...

Thank you for always being so candid. I'm so very sorry your little man is no longer with y'all. He is such an inspiration to us all!

mommak said...

I know you don't know me - but I just have to say... I'm SO sorry that you actually had to defend your words. Your journey is your journey and NO ONE else has the right to judge.

I have a 3 year old boy and I can't tell you how many times I wept reading your stories about Gavin and the struggles you were going through and how thankful I am to have my three year old in my arms still. I wish I could loan him to you some days just for you to have those sweet 3 year old little hugs and kisses - but I know that would never replace what you have in Gavin.

I (personally) believe that you have to move on and learn to enjoy life again - look at the life of Job... he lost it all and God restored to him EVEN MORE and once again he enjoyed life. I'm sure he still grieved for what he had - but he lived in where God was going. Job 42:12 says "The Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first..."
No, I don't think that the Lord brought this on you to teach you anything - but I KNOW that He will do what the Word says that He will - "use every situation for His glory"!! I know that God has GREAT things in store for your family and yes, that means enjoying life!

I can't tell you how many times I think of you and your family and stop to pray for you. I will continue to do so and believe for you to be surrounded with people (and comments) that are encouraging and uplifting to you as you continue to walk life out on this new journey.

Wander said...

Oh sweet lady.....I'm sorry you had to explain anything at all!
You owe no one (in my eyes)!
God has blessed you in so many ways...and I like how you share just that in your post.
As a mom (my kids are all teens now and my oldest is a Gavin, in college now) I can't imagine ever walking the path you have.
I pray that your heart heals with time. Your sweet Gavin has touched so many lives.

Praying for you as you face each new day!

Anonymous said...

I enjoy that "anonymous" people have not felt the need to speak up any longer! Way to stay strong!

Chelsea

Kelly said...

I am amazed at your strength but it is obviously coming from the ultimate supplier of strength and peace, our Lord and Savior. Bless you and your family. I have never commented here but I have had your sweet, beautiful family in my prayers. I look at little Gavin's pictures and envision him dancing with Jesus in heaven. :)

Shari said...

Karen: Very well said! I just can't believe people would leave awful comments like that. God has given you the grace to be able to move forward. That doesn't mean that your heart doesn't ache immensely over the loss of your precious baby boy! I am sure you have your moments where the tears flow and the pain is overwhelming.

mrsrubly said...

very well said! you had a commenter that stated grieve in your own way. express yourself. gavin and madi have a wonderful mother and father! you spent all of Gavin's sweet life taking care of him doing everything i know the words are on this blog that i followed for quite some time show the love and care. you are who you are! keep posting posts on the blog. god will take care of rest karen!!! there are a lot of other people who would love to stay in touch and comment beutiful hopefully inspirations for you as Gavin as done for us~~strength, faith,

Anonymous said...

Karen, I read each of your posts and I think it is inspiring how you and your family are coping with what has to be one of the worst things any family has to go through. I am also sorry you have to endure the negative comments, but know that there are many more people whom you inspire and who love you and your family, although we've never even met you. I lost my mother this past June, and the later years of her life she had been declining and her quality of life was not good. She wanted to stay for us, and we wanted her to stay for we all needed and loved her so much, but in the end I find peace and joy knowing she is out of pain and not suffering anymore. I live my life now, and I still enjoy my family and all the things we used to share with her (she loved family gatherings and being with us) as I know she would want me to. I am glad you are confident in your new beginning. We know you'd want Gavin here with you, but you can't change that. He loves you and wants you to live life to the fullest. God Bless you and your family.
Debbie S. in CT

Shauna Quintero said...

It is so difficult to pour your heart out and then have other read it and stomp on it.

I had a similar situation with my blog and I have to say that those types of comments obviously come from those who have no idea what it is like to have a sick child.

No idea.

God bless you and your family and may God bring you peace and healing.

Lynette said...

Karen, I don't know if I have ever commented before, but I felt compelled to this morning.
I can't tell you how much I needed to read these statements this morning, and how much joy I have gotten out of your blog.

My family is facing the very real probability of losing my nephew shortly after birth. (just how short, no one can tell us, minutes? Hours? days?) He has markers for both trisomy 13 and 18.

While my heart broke when Gavin passed, I have recieved some of the joy you speak of. Your family is a living testament that life goes on after loss. That its ok to smile, to love and to live. Even after the devastating loss of a child. God is no smaller because a child passed, he's the same God, and loves us just the same.

Your blog gives me hope, and joy as I know we will be blessed to have however much time with Samuel as God chooses to bless us with.

Thank you for letting us in.

I have, and continue to pray for you and your entire family.

Ckinneer said...

Karen,
I didn't read the comments, nor do I wish to! I cannot believe that you've had to defend yourself and your family! How awful! I am so sorry and I can say that as I've watched you walk through this, you have encouraged me SOOO much...and I've never even met you! Keep doing what you're doing...there is no doubt in my mind that you are an awesome mother, wife and woman of God.
Love
Charity

Anonymous said...

You don't know me and I did not find Gavin's blog until a few days before his death. But I went back and read some of the earlier post and was simply amazed at your family. The loss of a child is something no parent should ever have to deal with but reality is it happens. As a true Christian we all understand that thou we mourn the loss we know that he is with his heavenly father the one who chose you and Adam to be his parents for the time he was on this earth and he chose Maddison to be his loving sister.
After Gavin's death I was glad to see that you continued to post. We read about these children and their families everyday and it is so wonderful you continue to share in your time of grief. Believe me those of us who are faithful readers would be wondering how you and your family are doing and continue to pray for you. I think you and Adam are an inspriation to many people and the old saying from MOMS all over the world, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then say nothing at all"!!!!!
Peace be with you and your family

Melissa said...

I love reading your blog, and youir honesty is refreshing. It takes a lot of courage to put things out there for the world to see, and in my opinion no one has the right to judge. You are doing what is best for your family. I have a child with mito, and it is a horrible disease. Watching your child slip away a little at a time is gut wretching.You are an example to me with how your family is handeling this. Thanks for sharing! God Blees you. Melissa

Holly said...

You said it Girl!

Those that have never been through your situation should not judge and even then people deal differently.

Our situations are different but similar and I don't try to even pretended to know what you guys are going through.

I commend you for your Joy it.

We get stupid comments all the time too. I've even thought about taking comments off, but decided to just approve them instead.

Much love to your family. Your doing a great job!

Stacy Kline said...

Owens Family: Its crazy to think people can be so mean and then be anonymous, because they dont care how much they can hurt with words.
You are GREAT parents and Gavin was such a sweet little boy, but he deserved to be whole and in the hands of Jesus not suffering any longer.
Hopefully some day we will run into each other at the YMCA, as we are members there also and I think my girls and Madi would love to play together.
Thanks for reading and God bless your family.
The Kline's

The Sutherlands said...

You are truly amazing! Thank you for being such a wonderful Christian example! we continue to pray for you here in Texas!

joan's blessings said...

I understand exactly what you are saying...even though hannah doesn't have mito, she has declined a lot in the last year and is so sad that I tell her all the time that it's ok to go and live with Jesus...after 14 yrs on this road it would mean a lot of freedom for us too...I could spend more quality time with my grandaughter instead of keeping her out of Aunt Hannah's stuff...still praying for you...the one time I met you at dupont was so special since we had been praying for you before that!

Cindy Heintz said...

Love Your family and keeping you always in my heart, thoughts and Prayers : )

The Hopkins Fam said...

Girl, keep your head up. We love you and your family! The Lord says "Well done, Karen." =)

MM said...

Don't ever feel the need to justify your self or your feelings to us, total strangers who have been given the privilege to peek into the lives of your family. Thank you for making your journey public.

kyna said...

The Leyvas love the Owens!! :0) Thank you for sharing your life with so many!

Miss you!

Anonymous said...

I'm seriously hoping that it was just a misunderstanding on Anonymous' part ... I can't believe anyone could honestly believe that you're glad to have Gavin off your back.
I have followed your blog for a couple of months now and it has become clear to me (in that short amount of time) that you all have tried to give Gavin the best life possible.
It shouldn't matter to anyone whether you call yourself a family of three or four because it's evident that it is NOT about the number but that Gavin will always be there ... not physically but in spirit.


A.

Cathy Davis said...

After coming in near the end of Gavi's life and "seeing" all the ups and downs of his disease, I am saddened that you feel the need to clarify your comments from the last post.

I've watched this roller coaster ride of life you were and are living. All of four of you have amazed me and I've seen such incredible strength and courage and LOVE in each of you.

I doubt you wrote a clarification blog for me or for others to comment, but I wanted to throw in my small thoughts. You guys have been amazing and I've witnessed God's love through each of you.

::hugs::

Taria M. said...

Amen and well put! You guys have chosen to share your lives with so many of us, and we too have been blessed by your precious angel's life! I was changed by your courage and by Gavin's. You guys have shown, and LIVED, your faith, and it's beautiful! Please keep posting!

Mona said...

It's a sad thing that you would have to address anything. Have no idea what the comments were but what I see is the Amazing Grace of God carrying you and Adam, restoring you, and healing your hearts.

Those who have not experienced this -the realness of God - don't understand and hurting people hurt people.

Going on without Gavin? Are you kidding me? Gavin's not in your past - he's in your future! Continued Grace and Peace in your hearts and lives!

A friend in Arkansas,

Anonymous said...

Karen,
you and your family are an inspiration. After losing half my family, and being told over and over about the inner strength I must have to deal with such loss, I have tried to explain to people that there is not a choice given, you wake up every morning and life goes on- whether you fight it or not. I, too, choose to see the beauty in life, and the beauty of the relationships I had, rather than the loss, which was really, only one part of the relationship. People who can't understand that true strength requires you to see the beauty through the pain, and remember the smiles, not the tears, have obviously never experienced loss, or compassion. Keep on going, thank you for sharing not only the story of Gavin's healing, but your own. Much love and hugs from a total stranger!
~Sara

Anonymous said...

beautifully put...

Anonymous said...

Amen! And, may God continue to bless you and your beautiful family-- ALL of you!

Brandi

Anonymous said...

Amen! You go GIRL!!!

Coco, not as in Chanel :) said...

I lost my only child to drugs and alcohol...she's still alive but just a shell, a zombie you could say. I haven't seen her in 3 years now, but she sends an e-mail always wanting something - never accepting of Christ, never admiting there is a probelm. I KNOW full well what it is like to watch someone fade away...different reasons, but still it is a loss. It hurts, but you do move on, and you can be happy and joyful, and grateful for God as every experience we have in our lives prepares us to do His will. God Bless you and yours.

Anonymous said...

Karen,
Thank you for taking the time and effort to explain things to someone who just doesn't get it. No, you don't have to, but you do anyway, because that is the wonderful person that God made you to be! Thank you again for sharing yourself here...touching so many! Be blessed and be safe in Him!
~Debbie Heisey

Bethany said...

I commend you for taking the higher road and trying to let these type of comments roll off your back. But I get how hard it is. I have had a few here and there and it really bothers me.

I get where you are 100%. I can't imagine how stressful the past few years for you have been ... how could it not be a sigh of relief (bittersweet, really) to finally be able to live your life -- for lack of a better way to put it. Gavin lives on, just not in pain and suffering. Are you supposed to sit around and wallow in self pity? Please.

Keep your chin up girl ... there will always be haters. Too bad they can't take a deeper look inside.

Angela said...

No need to even respond to someone who doesn't even have the courage to sign their name to a nasty and false comment. Karen, you have openly and honestly shared your most painful moments with everyone and I commend you for that. Gavin will be missed greatly and the impact he made on so many lives will never be forgotten. Don't waste your time on those who are unhappy with themselves. Live your life and be happy - Gavin would've wanted that for his family. Love, peace and blessings!
Angela

rhi0519 said...

You and I have never met and most likely never will... however I check your blog often. You are such an inspiration to parents everywhere. It hurts me to believe that someone would post such hurtful and mean things on your blog. Thank you for addressing those negative comments with such grace!

Megan said...

Karen, only those who lose a child will ever know what it is like. You and Adam have the right to endure this journey however you need to and we all know that grief is a complex thing. Your grief began long before Gavin's actual death - as you said in a previous post, you had been thinking of Gavin's death since he was first born/diagnosed. Your story is yours and those who have never cared for a medically fragile child cannot know the day to day hardships and joys that your family has experienced. Keep loving each other. A familly is the strongest thing on earth!

Anonymous said...

When my son died, i thought that I could never be happy again. Like Gavin, my son was sick a long time. I took care of him and gave everything I could into his life. I had to decide to give up living or go on. I chose to go on because my son wouldnt want me to stop living, just like you shouldnt stop living. Do what is right for your family.

jennifer said...

I knew exactly what I wanted to comment after this post and see that several others already have. I will say it anyway as it is the only fitting comment I can think of.

AMEN.

Jenifer said...

Karen...You all are such a testimony of a family that looks to a faithful God for their happiness and comfort. I have followed your journey on this blog for over a year and have been so inspired by your lives and also by your ability to delicately balance your mix of sorrow and joy so gracefully. Never let anyone tell you to be ashamed of how your family has handled your loss! You all are a living testimony of finding true strength in the joy of the Lord in difficult times!

Michelle said...

Well said!!!! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

K said...

It really doesn't matter what some ignorant uninformed person says, you know what is in your heart and mind. Im sorry for your loss but having a special needs child can understand having sorrow and joy about your little guys passing. Anyway just hang in there and keep your chin up!

williamsmommy2005 said...

Very well said.. I've read your blog a few times and just recently read some of the comments. I am very sorry that there are those out there that can be so cold hearted. Losing a child is never easy, but I'm happy that you and your family are able to see the positive in what you've gone through.