I've been doing lots of thinking lately regarding our current place in life. It's been almost five months since we said goodbye to our sweet Gavin and started this process of redefining normal -- finding life after death. Last week we had what felt like a sneak peak at the change in seasons. The sun was shining and as I looked out our front door through the cold hard dirt were signs of beautiful flowers beginning to emerge. At that moment God started to pour out this incredible analogy into my head that I heard in a song, written by a man who tragically lost his little girl.
The song speaks of death as winter -- it's cold and harsh and often seems to linger on forever. The pain of watching Gavin suffer in his last days was like a cold winter wind that just burns your skin, seems to pierce your very soul. As time is going on God is doing this incredible work in my life. His healing of my hurting heart is like the first signs of spring. We know the beauty of summer is coming but the work comes in the spring -- the digging, the planting -- cultivating the very earth that will shortly begin its display of beautiful color and wonder.
My spring of healing is a time of intense emotion -- grieving the fact that my little boy is gone, that my hands can no longer touch the life that once was. It brings up pain that is hidden deep in the earth yet somehow out of the depth of that pain this beautiful thing emerges. My spring of healing sends my soul churning with excitement -- the chance of new life, of new beginnings, of restoration -- possibilities.
This past week we have witnessed our little boy's legacy of hope and healing spreading and touching people's lives. I was able to attend my first meeting as a council member of the Family Advisory Committee for the A.I. duPont Children's Hospital. During the meeting many of the members including families, doctors and hospital administration already knew of my little boy and our family. We have heard many stories, including this one, about how the Babylegs Campaign is touching so many families -- even spreading to the earthquake victims of Haiti, as a team from duPont took down a bin of Babylegs to hand out to the families they were helping. We were able to launch Chronically Cool Families, a parent to parent support group for families dealing with chronic illness or disability -- a group that was formed to honor our little boy.
Spring is an amazing time.
Spring is an amazing time.
"I'll never let go of this hope that I have that tells me spring is coming. Watch the ice melt away -- the kids are coming out to play. Feel the sun on your skin -- growing strong and warm again. Watch the ground -- there's something moving -- something is breaking through -- new life is breaking through. Spring in coming." -- Steven Curtis Chapman