The loss of a child comes with a lifelong process of grief. This past week we were talking with other families who have lost children and we all kinda felt like there is something just different about a child's death that kinda sets it apart in the world of grief. Don't get me wrong - death is death, and death sucks. But there is something about losing a child that just stands out -- the natural order of life and death is disturbed and families are forever changed.
Our families process of grief has been an amazing time of reflection, where even in the midst of the intense pain and sorrow there are so many ways God's beautiful hands can be seen moving in our family -- if we just take a second to see it. I noticed this week that all three of us seem to grieve at different times. It seems while God has been speaking Joy and Peace into Adam and I's hearts, Madison has been going through a week of deep reflection and remberence which causes sadness and misbehavior. But her time of grief comes at a moment where mommy and daddy are feeling strong and are ready to hold her and help her through the pain, allowing us to give her the support she needs.
Then there are the times where Adam or Myself are desperately waning to hold our little boy once again -- it seems like those see times Madi brings her sweet spirit and child like faith and understanding and reminds us through her life that God still loves us and has amazing plans for our family.
Our grief process as a family is an amazing thing guided by the hand of God. The process remindes us of our deep love for Gavin and also Gods overwhelming love for us. It's hard, but it seems if we just take time to step out of our pain, even if just for a moment, we can see the bright warm sun peaking through the dense fog.