Friday, May 14, 2010

Mother's Day Without Him...

Photo Credit: Ryan EstesPhoto Credit: Ryan Estes

These past two weeks have seriously been a complete whirlwind.  Life is really good right now, but sometimes really good living brings lots of stress.   I'm the type of person who likes to take on the world -- if I'm asked to take on a project and I have the least bit interest in it, then I'm all over it!  I like living this way -- it keep things exciting and I tend to just do better overall amongst the chaos.

This past Saturday, which happened to be six months since we said goodbye to Gavin, I spoke at a ladies event at a local church and had the amazing opportunity to share our story -- Gavin's amazing story.  I consider it to be the hugest honor to share the incredible things that God did and is doing through both the life and death of our little boy.  I shared the video I created which is basically a whole bunch of blog posts all put together to kinda recap our life these past few years.  As I sat there and listened to the things that I had written almost 4 years ago, I was literally blown away.  I sat there amazed as I recounted the journey God led us on.

I wasn't sure how this first Mother's Day would go -- after all how does one celebrate motherhood when part of very essence that makes me a mother is gone forever.  As the day went by I started to realize that this day isn't bad at all, or at least no less difficult than any other day that I wake up without my little boy calling my name.

If anything Mother's Day was a special time for me just to remember that I am, and will always be a mother to two beautiful children.  It became a day of reflection.  A day of reflecting on the mother I am today -- the past that sculpted my present and that which is creating my future as a mother.

2 comments:

Missy said...

Yes..you will always be a mother to two VERY beautiful children.

You are an inspiration to us all..

Heidi said...

Two beautiful children, 1 amazing ma-ma...love and hugs--
Heidi & Jack.