Tuesday, August 17, 2010

{Blending In}

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This past weekend the Owens' Family ventured out to the Goshenhoppen Festival.  Don't ask how you pronounce it or what in the world it means -- it's a festival.  I determined a few things this past weekend.  The first is that I'm not sure we are much of a festival type family, particularly a heritage festival.  To be very honest I can't tell the difference between the 1950's and 1900's, let alone the 1800's.  Did people even live in America in the 1800's?  Joking... kinda.

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Anyway.  The people did an amazing job at putting the festival together but I think we need to wait until Madison actually learns about this stuff in school so Daddy and I can have a refresher course and we will better understand what these people were trying to teach us.

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The highlights of the festival were that Madison got to walk on stilts -- in her brand new Twinkle Toes, and we ate huge slices of juicy watermelon, which I happen to love.

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The other thing that I happened to notice is that we blend in.  Blending in is such a foreign concept for our family.  Little Gavin would draw tons of attention -- there was no just running out of the house with no makeup on hoping that you wouldn't see anyone -- everyone would see me.   

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Right after Gavin died I longed to be seen.  I would walk into a store and want to hold a giant sign telling everyone that I have an amazing son who despite his death is just as present as ever.  As time has gone by, even though I miss my little boy terribly every single day, it feels like he is just as alive as he was when he was living on this earth.  I feel his legacy every second of the day.  Gavin along with Madison and Adam make up the very essence of my being.  I no longer feel the need to shout that my little boy is gone, but rather find myself walking proudly knowing that he is still making a difference in this world.

2 comments:

Jessica said...

One heart touched deeply by your story. Here's to blending in...

Zoey's mom said...

Blending in and a little normal ... both nice changes in a year that has held the greatest changes and lessons of all.There is a peace that I sense each and everytime I pop by lately and for you all and your continual ebb and flow of healing,I am grateful for that.

Blessings from California.