The day has come and gone -- Madison's first day of Kindergarten. It's kinda crazy where I am mentally and emotionally at the end of this monumental day. I am so proud of my little girl. I looked at her this morning and I saw a beautiful little lady -- perfect in every way, even in her imperfection. I saw my baby who not so long ago I held in my arms -- fitting perfectly in the bend of my arm. She has grown in so many ways.
Grief is a crazy thing. It seems to sneak up at the most unexpected time. As we prepared Madison for her first day of school I couldn't help but be constantly reminded that we were supposed to be doing this as a family of four. I know Gavin was totally watching her get on that big yellow bus and probably -- most likely, totally freakin' out and kicking his skinny little legs with excitment up in heaven!
I have lots of wonders about this upcoming school year. This is just a weird place in the journey of parenthood. Today was the first day that I was not in complete control of my child's life. Giving up control is a difficult thing for this type A Mommie. As scary as it is -- I guess amazing freedom can be found in giving up a little control -- pushing her a little further out of the nest and trusting that God will give her a safe landing and show her the most spectacular view on the way to her destination.
Ok -- here we go. One day down, Oh so many more to go!