A few day's after we lost our sweet little boy a few people gave Adam and I some music by Steven Curtis Chapman. I have to admit this is not really my style music -- but his story was near to our hearts, as he too lost a child. This music was birthed out of his mourning and processing the tragic loss of his daughter. These songs helped me through some of my most intense moments after Gavin's death.
There is one song on this album that paints the most beautiful picture of our life and particularly the season we are in right now. I've posted a little on it before and you can go read that another time. Anyway, the song talks about how death is like the season of winter -- the ground is so hard and the air is brutal. The song talks about how the tears of our grief are like seeds that we are sowing into the ground.
In the back of our minds we know that winter will end -- but it can often feel so far away. But little did we know that the seeds that we planted in the midst of our grief are beginning to grow. Soon, despite the groans of our mourning we can start to hear the music of the birds -- the warmth of the sun begin to touch our souls.
Then it happens -- new life breaks though.
November 8th holds some of the most painful memories we will probably ever have as a family -- but in the depths of our pain our season is changing. The seeds that we once sowed are beginning to grow.
Yesterday on the one year anniversary of our little boy's death our family received our official approval that we are an adoptive family for whatever amazing child God already has chosen for us. Signing the papers was so surreal on so many levels. Our little boy gave us an amazing gift, both in his life but also in his death. I couldn't think of a more beautiful way to remember his death than ushering in the presence of new life.
Needless to say we are so excited. Although we kinda already felt like we were an approved family -- now it is official. We have our interview for a little girl on the 16th -- we love this little girl so much and we are trusting that if this is the child God has for us, the interview will go smoothly and with ease. We want to give this little girl an amazing life apart of our family -- and we are totally ready to receive her into our crazy amazing life.
I have a feeling this is going to be an amazing season.