Wednesday, March 16, 2011

{Six Year Old Stuff}

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Madison is changing.  There is no doubt about it.  Adam and I feel very strongly about our decision to put Madison is public school.  We pray that the foundation we provide her at home will be a huge light to the people she will encounter as she walks through the jungle, otherwise known as the public school system.  With this said we have noticed so many things that come out of Madison's mouth that we wish our little girl was not exposed to.  It's so hard.  We want her to grow up learning how to make good choices even when others are not, but we as her parents can not always be there to hold her hand.

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We have been having some behavior issues at home.  Most people who know our little Madison are aware that she is a really good kid.  Adam and I are so stinkin' proud of the way Madison has overcome the odds and really bloomed into an amazing kid.  But there are still areas that she needs some redirection.  I will be the first to admit that I have a lot of guilt when it comes to Madison.  I always fear the trauma of her past plays a role in everything she says and does.  I'm a nut.  I know in my heart and mind that the behaviors we are seeing are totally age appropriate but that little voice inside gets me every time.  I need to just get over it -- for real.  Yes, Madison has had a rough start to life but I'm choosing to see her past as life enriching rather then life destroying.  I just need to remind myself everyday of this.  God chooses to use the most ugly things to create beauty.  I need to allow him to do his work and not assume the worst outcome.

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Madison has a lot on her plate -- well actually she really doesn't and that seems to be a big issue.  On some days Angela will have up to four or five people come into our home to provide her with services or talk to me about her care or adoption process.  Madison is often told to find something to do -- to go outside and play.  This kinda stinks.  But it's how things will be for a very long time so Adam and I are coming up with a plan to give Madison the time she deserves.

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We decided to push her bed time back by one hour.  Madison has always gone to bed at seven.  We really like that for obvious reasons, but allowing her to stay up an extra hour after her little sister goes to bed will rock her world -- giving her time with mommie and daddy with no little sister type interruptions.  Remember Camp Madison?  It's coming back.  For those who do not know,  Camp Madison emerges when Adam and I really want to change a behavior.  Last year it was going to bed -- she would fight us every night.  After a certain number of good days is acheived the three day camp event begins, where Madison gets to choose one special activity per day, like going to see a movie, or craft night and she also gets to plan the meals for all three days.  Camp Madison is a big deal.  We design our very own super cool T-shirts  and proudly wear them all three days!

I know God has equipped us with the ability to parent our amazing children -- some days I just need to take time to remember this.  Allowing myself to throw off the guilt and just smile as we watch our little girl grow up -- drama and all!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love the Camp Madison idea. I may need to try that with my almost 5 year old. You and Adam are amazing parents. It is evident to all who come in contact with you. Don't let guilt override the exceptional things you are doing for all of your children. And yes, Madison is at that "sponge" age where she is learning things you would prefer she not. Just remember, you are not the only parent that feels this way. We are in the same boat. Stand strong in your faith and demonstrate to her each day the difference between right and wrong.

Kelly said...

Your a great mommy!!

Anonymous said...

Camp Madison sounds like a great idea!

I know what you mean about public school. It feels like we are sending our kids off to war.
We finally decided on a Christian school after trying both home-schooling and public school. We found a school that provides partial scholarships which made it possible.

You sound like wonderful parents -you have a lot of great ideas!! Praying for you!

Anonymous said...

Great idea, about giving her that extra hour. We were similarly frustrated with always reprimanding and thought we should have a visual reward system for good behavior.
My two older kids (4 and 6) each have a glass vase that we put a few (or a handfull) of colorful rocks in to reward extra good behavior. When they fill their jar they get a treat (go out for ice cream, buy a toy under $10, make cookies, whatever they want). It has worked out so well. They have been doing things above and beyond and not just to get rocks in their jar, although they jump up and down when they do.
Good luck with everything.

Debbie in CT

Anonymous said...

Well said. I find myself doing the same when it comes to my own son, who can have some behavior "concerns" as well. However, the situation is differnt, where my son witnessed the divorce between his father and I when he was 4, a life changing event that altered all he knew about life as it was. I talk myself into believing that it is all my fault, feeling guility, when I fail to realize as well, just what you said, we have to realize that the past is life enriching not life destroying. What I am learning through my own journey in facing behavior issues, is that when discipline needs to be enforced for inappropriate behavior, do not let your feelings get you.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry....I must have offended you. It certainly wasn't my intention. Please accept my apology. I ask for your forgiveness and, once again, I am truly sorry!

TusaRebecca said...

I love that you make t-shirts for Camp Madison. Too cute. Sorry she's having a rough go. It's not always easy being little!

Karen Owens said...

@anonymous. Certainly no reason to take offense!

JayCee said...

You have such great parenting ideas!

Jana said...

Wonderful idea, Karen. Where do you get your t-shirts made? I think I need to make one for my almost 6-yr old that says "be patient with me" or "I'm a work of art that isn't finished yet" or something like that. ;)

Gilda said...

Camp Madison sounds pretty cool. It is hard to keep our children from hearing or acting out things they learn outside our homes. Something I think alot of us parents encounter with our children. You and Adam are wonderful parents who honor and love God who guides us everyday and with that Madison will continue to learn to do the same as she grows older.