Angela is doing amazing. Thanks you all for your prayers for our family and our little girl -- they are obviously working as Angela is recovering faster than anyone thought she would. This morning she got a bath and get into her wheelchair and we took a walk around the hospital. This afternoon she took a nap and has been sitting in her Childrite chair playing with her iPad and other toys. Even though she required lots of morphine last night, today she has gone without narcotics and we have just been giving her Tordol every 6 hours. God sure did know exactly what we needed for this stay.
Yesterday I walked into this room with such heavy grief and sadness -- God knew that we needed this to be easy. I realize life doesn’t always work that way -- trust me -- we have walked through seasons where it seemed like the black cloud would never lift. But not right now. We are in a season of healing and restoration and I totally feel God’s handy work in orchestrating the details of this hospital stay.
After Gavin died and we begun to start the adoption process, in no way did we ever feel that we needed to replace Gavin. We welcomed Angela into our family as a unique individual. But as I’ve been sitting here spending lots of quality time with her I can’t but help feel my little boy through her. And I think that’s ok. Angela is my special gift on so many levels. I look at her and don’t see Gavin but rather I see the result of his life and of God’s beautiful plan for our growing family.
After Gavin died God really used the analogy of winter and spring to walk me thought my grief. Winter being the deep pain and mourning -- where the ground is hard and cold. But in that hard cold ground is life just waiting to come to the surface once the warmth of spring arrives. We are fully in our season of spring -- and Angela’s life is part of that beautiful thing that grew from our season of harsh winter.
Not sure if that makes sense -- but it does to me and it give my mommie heart a beautiful peace and excitement for our future as a family -- for all of us, Adam, Madison, Angela, Myself and our new child waiting to be found.
God is amazing. Never doubt that what appears to be an unbearable season of pain and hardship could be the very season that God uses to bring healing and wholeness to you personally and to the world around you.