Wednesday, November 23, 2011

{Meeting Our New Little Boy}

Family Photos-1

Yesterday was one of those day you just can not possible describe in words -- the day you meet your child for the first time.  Adoption or birth -- it's all the very similar and very much amazing.  Yesterday we started out our day in the morning heading downtown to the Philadelphia Department of Human Services, who holds the legal custody of Jayden until it's transferred over to us in court.  We went down kinda knowing that we were already chosen to be his mommie and daddy, but we still needed to go through a formal interview and look over his more current file and make sure we all felt good about this match.

Family Photos-2

Interviewing for a child you love and want so badly is one of the most difficult of situations you can place a family in.  Just imagine if you had to interview before you were allowed to conceive your biological children -- awkward right?  Exactly.  But we got through it and all felt total peace that this was indeed the perfect match for our family and the perfect match for Jayden.

Family Photos-3

Jayden just turned two years old and has been living in a medical facility since a few months after birth when he suffered a non accidental head trauma.  It's not my place to give you details but it is a very hard story to swallow -- hard to imagine the suffering this little baby endured.  Jayden is a survivor.  Many children who sustained his injuries will never recover and many never survive the trauma -- but our fighter did.  His heart started to beat again and the life that was once stolen from him -- he stole right back and continues to heal and recover.  From what we were told this little boy has overcome so much.  He came into care with severe medical needs but now has been able to be weaned off a ventilator and really has minimal medical concerns.

Family Photos-4

The brain injury left him impaired in many ways but he is full of personality and typical two year old spunk.  He has cortical visual impairment just like Angela, has a trach to help prevent aspiration due to his inconsistent gag reflex and has a g-tube for feedings.  He is just learning how to walk with the assistance of a walker but this kid is a mover -- from what we saw yesterday he is a little boy on the go with things to do and places to explore!  

It was heartbreaking to see him in the environment he is currently living.  The staff have taken great care of him to the best of their abilities but it is still an institutional setting with rules and regulation that prevent any child from living a normal life and receiving the consistent love and attention they need and deserve.  It breaks my heart to think that this little boy has never known what it means to have a home or even the concept of a mom and dad. Needless to say leaving him was difficult.

Family Photos-5

This process is going to be a bit more complicated than it was when we transitioned Angela into our home.  Since he is in a medical facility they have their own guidelines on amount of training hours needed and length of transition and a whole bunch of other stuff.  We are going to make it work.  We are ready for the long haul and praying that God makes a way for this to be easier than anyone ever expected.  For now we will begin visits hopefully this weekend or next week, which we are hoping will be several times per week with both Adam and I and then I'm hoping to be apart of his therapies and also his doctor visits.  

Family Photos-6

Can't wait to bring him home -- give him a place in this family and live an amazing life together.  Trusting God once again and believe that his timing is simply perfect, no need to stress or have anxiety knowing that the details of our new little boys life and placement into our home and have already been worked out -- we're just along for the ride!


Restoring the Soul said...

So glad it went well!! Hopefully I didnt scare you too much and it won't be too long of a process! Can't wait to see what God does and where jayden will be by next year!! One step at a time!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! There is so much information out there on TBI - you will find a wealth of help with learning what Jayden can do and therapies and options for him... I can't wait to meet him and see how excited the rest of your family is to have this new brother!
Michele in Oklahoma

Kyla said...

I'm thrilled that it went well! Good luck to you guys as you start down this exciting road!

Laura Anne said...

Constantly inspired by your family. Can't wait for the day we all get to 'meet' Jayden!

yourhandsinmine said...

So glad that it went well! I hope the process goes as smoothly and quickly as possible.

Nicole said...

So happy to hear this! I have seen Jayden on an adoption photolisting and just knew he was the one you were talking about! :) So glad for you guys and hope things flow smoothly for his transition. We too are in the process of adopting a child with medical special needs. We also have a 5 year old little boy with Mitochondrial Disease which is how I found your blog in the first place!

Kelly said...

Glad things went so well. So happy for your family and this little boy. Hope things happen quickly and smoothly. Such an exciting time in your life. Happy for you!

Sherry C said...

What a great story. Congratulations! What a lucky little boy . I hope things speed along quickly and he can be home with you before you know it.

Krissy said...

Your family is truly an inspiration. What amazing parents you and your husband are, and what a special family God has given you. You give me hope. You make me want to see the good in each day. Thank you for bravely opening yourself up the way you do. You have no idea the impact you leave on others. God bless!

Tally's mommy

Lia said...

I am so glad you are going to give Jayden a forever home. I found him on the internet and he looks so adorable. I know everyone says how inspirational you are but you truly are an amazing family. Can't wait to see the progress that Jayden will make when he becomes part of your family. Just like his sister Angela is making.

Molly said...

Can't wait to "meet" him!!!

Paula said...

How amazing! Your family continually inspires and encourages me - the world needs more people like you!

(And I really love the second picture from the top. So much joy!)

Anonymous said...

I've been thinking about special needs adoption, but one of the things holding me back is the cost of medical care. If you don't mind sharing (or anyone else with experience), how do you handle this? I can put a child under my health insurance, but what if I lose my job? I know part of it is trusting God to provide, but I'm also very aware of the very high cost of medical care (I'm a nurse)... In a way I feel very well prepared for adopting a child with severe medical conditions (TPN, trachs etc don't phase me at all), but on the other hand I'm afraid of being financially irresponsible (especially with no family support...). Any thoughts would be most appreciated :)

Karen Owens said...

@M -- I'm not sure of all states, but for us in Pennsylvania both our kids came to us with Medicaid. Angela uses our insurance as her primary and then her medicaid is secondary. Both our kids were adopted though SWAN, which has a few different policies. Since our kiddos are considered disabled once they turn 18 they will still keep their Medicaid.

Hope that helps. There are programs to help you/us to take care of these kids intense needs. It helps a lot but obviously doesn't take care of everything. It can be a struggle at times but MORE than worth it!

I always suggests that people find a agency and start the training. You learn so much and if at the end you decide it's not right for you then at least you will have made an informed descision.

Good Luck!

Anonymous said...

So awesome! Jayden is one blessed little dude to get to become a part of your family. Can't wait to see how the story plays out.

Gilda said...

Karen, this is amazing!your hearts are so good, and full of love. I know that God is guiding you in everyway. Congratulations! Can't wait to meet Jayden here.