{Full Speed Ahead}

Life is going full speed ahead right now.  I find that I'm constantly trying to remember what day it is, not to mention reminding myself to make sure to stay in the moment and not travel to far ahead.  We have been visiting Jayden six days a week for the past two weeks and I am totally in love with this little boy.  It is increasingly difficult to just visit and not be able to take him home with us, or even just out for a few hours.  So very hard.

We are trying so hard to just go with the flow but our hearts are more than anxious to begin this new life with the girls and him at home -- together.  It's not that the facility is horrible, as he is getting good care, but it is certainly not a home but rather very much a hospital or institutional setting.  This little boy needs a family, he needs structure and he needs major love that only a mommie and daddy can give.

Tomorrow is a big day in our process.  We will meet with a few administrators as well as DHS worker and our adoption worker to have a discharge meeting.  I'm very anxious.  We are in need of major prayer -- we need everyone to come to this meeting with a great excitement to get Jayden home -- soon.  The biggest frustration with the "system" is that children's lives are wrapped around schedules of workers.  We can only train when a trainer is available -- if it was up to Adam and I we would train everyday to make this happen faster. It's so frustrating and unavoidable.

We are trusting yet again in God's perfect timing but also in his ability to give us the peace and patience we need to get through this difficult process.

The girls are handling the chaos very well.  My parents are helping us out with the girls while we spend time traveling each day to see Jayden.  Angela continues to regain her baseline and this week we had her central line pulled and she also got rid of her GJ tube and is tolerating her feeding into her belly rather well.  She still has some issues but we are working through them and moving forward. Her kidWalk finally came in and we are all loving it!  She has lots of work to do before she will actually move in it -- but I have no doubt that it will soon click and she will be off!

Our minds are anxious but our hearts are still incredibly overwhelmed that God would give us this  journey to walk.  Adam and I had a nice talk the one night coming home about just how amazing it is that God would use us -- two people who are no more special or amazing that any other individual out there, and to trust us to care for the amazing children God has given us both through birth and through adoption.

It seriously blows us away.