I often wonder what that day was like -- the day after people witnessed first hand that empty tomb. I mean, just think about it. It's so easy to think of it in terms of a nice story but if I picture myself in the shoes of the women who went to go mourn Jesus at his tomb and instead saw that it was empty and only the cloth that wrapped his dead body was left behind -- can you even imagine the crazy adrenaline rush that they must have experienced. It's seriously mind baffling.
Easter has always been a great holiday but I will be the first to admit that I didn't always think it was super cool for the right reasons. I love candy and sadly I think that in the past the yummy candy was all my mind was focused on. This all changed since Gavin's death -- after all that's really what easter is all about -- Jesus' death and the possibility of new life that came from his resurrection.
Yesterday we spent sometime with Gavin at his grave. I just cant help but be filled with an amazing hope standing looking at my little boy's grave. The though that this grave is only but a symbol of his life -- a place for his sick, frail shell to rest and the realization that my little boy, his thinking, feeling and sweet spirit is not stuck below that ugly mound of dirt -- it's just crazy. I often wonder if that surge of hope, joy and peace is a tiny glimpse of what it was like for those women who found Jesus?
I just wonder.
We had an amazing time as a family yesterday enjoying each other and taking time not only to remember the amazing resurrection but also taking time to remember our little boy. I've said this before -- but i just wish I could describe what it is like to have all three my babies in one spot. Being at his grave just feels right. I know it's not for everyone, but for this mommie it's just right.