Did you ever have that moment where you step back and just observe your life, as if you were an outsider looking into your world? There is power in stepping out and looking at the big picture -- widening your view. Stepping out and looking onto our world right now fills my soul with the most amazing peace and joy. Looking at what our family has become gives me this beautiful sense of purpose -- that we are in the perfect spot, the very place God wants us to be.
Anytime we attempt to take family photos it is always an event. It may not last long but it takes planning and patience beyond what my type a personality is usually capable of handling. There is also an element of grief that always comes into play -- I always recognize that we are missing one of our children. It always reminds me he is gone. Despite all this I'm so glad we got these photos. While they aren't the best in quality -- there meaning over looks that. These photos show just how beautiful adoption is -- a glimpse of what it looks like to be in the very spot God wants us to be.
When I look closer at the evolution of us -- step back and observe what we have become, I can't help but still see our little boy flowing though this thing we have become. It's amazing. I could never thank God enough for writing this story for us, choosing me -- allowing me to call them my babies, all four of them.
The evolution of us blows me away.
Life is busy and crazy. I know I often compare adoption to the physical birth of a child -- It's just so similar. There is this crazy phenomenon in biological birth where the women magically forgets the intense pain of labor. I know it happened to me in both Madison and Gavin. I had a natural non-medicated birth for both kids and although I remember the pain -- I don't really remember the pain, if you know what I mean. Adoption is the same way. I obviously forgot just how hard we worked to help Angela get to the place she is at now, as Adam and I both question how is the world we ever did this.
I remember my parents joking with us all the time, commenting on how we corrected Angela all the time. They were right! We used to have this song/chant "hands down, tongue in your mouth"-- it's so funny to look back on. It was constant behavior modification though various techniques. We would end the day both mentally and physically exhausted. But it worked. Angela has bloomed into this amazing social little girl, who we only occasionally need to prompt. So now we are starting over with Jayden. They are totally different but still they both need and needed to learn how to be part of a family, how to function successfully in society and most of all how to be happy and content.
Jayden is doing amazing. I sat down at his intake for early intervention this past week and I started mentioning some of the behaviors Jayden has that need to be addressed, some we have already started. As I started to go on and on about how Jayden just can't sit still -- he always needs to be moving -- there was Jayden sitting quietly on the floor with his hands in his lap watching TV! He is seriously progressing faster that even I can keep track of. He is just so content these days and that is so beautiful to see.
The evolution of us -- I just have to wonder what we will look like one year from now?