Fifteen minutes had pasts since I asked Jayden if he was ready for bed. His eyes were slowly closing and he wanted so bad to go back to his room and go to sleep. Jayden loves to sleep – it’s just his thing. He’s a chill kinda kid. He is known for his sit on the floor with arms propped back and legs crossed pose. So when he was acting sleepy, I knew that this was my chance to get him to tell me his needs – that he wanted to go bed.
“Jayden, are you ready for bed? Would you like Mommie to take you back to your room? “
He just stared at me.
Twenty minutes had past and Adam and I must have asked the same question at least fifty times. I just knew he could tell me by shaking his head. It’s a skill that most of us take for granted. But Jayden has to work so very hard to make this movement work. Jayden’s severe brain trauma left him with a condition known as dyspraxia. He can think in his mind that he wants to shake his head yes and go to sleep, but somehow the message gets lost as he attempts to physically shake his head.
But, as his mommie I can see past his blank stare – I can see his mind thinking and planning. I just knew our break through was coming.
At about twenty-four minutes after we started our attempt to get Jayden to say yes by shaking his head, we were ready to give up. Through our physical eyes, it was very clear that he was done, that the response was not going to come.
But the hope that I hold onto for my children told me to ask one more time.
“Jayden, do you want mommie to put you to bed?”
Twenty-five minutes after we first asked Jayden this very same question it happened. He shook his head yes, I scooped him up, gave him the biggest hug and put my baby boy to sleep.
I’m telling this story for one reason – simply to remind myself that in this season of life God is telling me this one thing: Don’t give up. When you feel like you can’t push anymore and when your physical eyes tell you it’s done – Hope says it’s only just beginning. God says keep pushing, your miracle is coming.
Trusting and believing that God is faithful when He is showing you his faithfulness is so darn easy. When you can’t see his hand moving and yet still choose to believe and keep pushing forward -- now that’s trust and faith.
God has so much for all of us. How many times have we given up at the twenty-fourth minute? I know I have. Just as God has given Adam and I an ability to see deep into our children and pull out potential that so many others would have said was not there, God sees into our lives something that we just can’t fathom in our human minds – that His plans are perfect. What we see as chaos and anxiety producing situations, God sees as stepping-stones to something greater. If we fail to push to the next stone we will never get to the place God wants us to be. Never. It will not happen.
In some areas of my life I’m at my twenty-fourth minute. Giving up and moving on look really good – so tempting. But I choose not to give up. I choose to keep pushing forward.
I believe that my twenty-fifth minute holds my miracle.